Bear (Poem)

I normally don’t like to give information concerning my poems since poetry can impact people differently.  However, in this particular poem I will give some information due to the possibility of it being misconstrued into something that I am completely not intending within the poem.

The context of this poem revolves around a recent event in which I ventured to accomplish a task and miserably failed.  This event discouraged me, but as I sat down and thought about what had just transpired, my discouragement turned into a desire to become better so that eventually I would master this event.  This poem came directly after that “sit down”.

 

You have shown your ugly face 

A deep disgrace 

But you’re mistaken if you think I’m rolling

Strolling through the path of defeat

 

Don’t take my anguish as a sign of hopelessness

Openness is what it is

But you accursed fiend

Have tempered with the wrong Beast

 

Ill rise and show you how strong I am

Ill grab you by the head and make you my dog

Your utter demise will be my delight

And hopelessly you’ll see your lack of control over me.

 

Behold I rise from the blow you have laid upon me

A pathetic and laughable attempt on your part

Bear is my name and you shall be acquainted with the strength given to me

Bear is the name you will know me by in your nightmares

 

Lo, I take hold the hand of life

Only to mercilessly take yours

Your corpse will be but my trophy

My hatred for you will be the mantle

 

You parasitical tick

You think to do me in 

But little do you know that I am but a dormant beast that you’ve now awakened 

And you will lament this day for eternity

 

Behold my victory is assured

Behold I see it nigh 

The power that dwells within me will surely guide my path

I have been given authority to tear you down

Piece by bloody piece 

 

See? I sharpen my claws with the rocks of adversity

I laugh at the thought of your pleas for mercy

I laugh at the act of your silencing

 

I rise

I take a deep breath and I rise 

I will be the most glorious of beasts

My weakness, in your nightmare you will scream my name 

 

My weakness is your name

And long have I allowed me to be your playground 

But now I rise

And the power you had over me will be your shame 

The power I now have over you is my glory

Excited over the new Superman ‘Man of Steel’ movie!!!!

Superman is one of my favorite fictional characters (the other one is Aslan…but to some degree I guess you could argue he ‘s not really fictional…) and his brand new movie is coming out on the 14^th (*does happy dance*). Needless to say I am totally excited over this new release because so far it looks like they have given Superman some serious thought.  Which he so needed!

Come june 14^th (God willing) you will find me in one of those lines wearing my favorite superman shirt and smiling from ear to ear.  Everyone needs some geek in their lives! J

After the Storm: A much needed update

Needless to say I have been MIA.  So much has happened it’s hard for me to gather my thoughts enough to form a coherent Blog post, but here goes: 

First off, let me thank those of you who have sent me encouraging e-mails, Facebook posts and Blog comments.  It feels good to know that people are behind you during rough times, and I have to admit these past two months has probably been one of the roughest periods for me in a long, long time.  My struggles reached an all-time high which lead me to question just about everything I thought I knew.  A deep desire rooted in obscurity finally saw the light of day as I was completely undone in the face of my weakness. I struggled and I struggled bad as I came face to face with the fact that I felt alone.  I wanted companionship and I was blinded to the Love of God.  In hindsight I am shocked as to how easy it was for me to forget how awesome the Lord was and has been in my life.  Nevertheless, I found myself in a spot of longing and seeking.  I also found myself in deep sadness as one of my best friends was leaving the states.  It was hard for me to handle all the emotions raging within me.  I found it hard to pray; heck I found myself not wanting to pray. 

Nevertheless, the Lord was faithful.  He reminded me of my true love, the only one I have given everything for, and most importantly, He reminded of who He was.  He was not a God given to PMS episodes.  He did throw temper tantrums when I messed up.  Rather, He was and still is patient.  Leading with His loving kindness and waiting for me to see truth.  I saw truth.  I saw the fact that what I am looking for A. I already have in the Lord.  B. I already have in the likes of my best friends.  

As the Lord usually does, He creates beauty from ashes.  My time of struggle has produced something wonderful in that I am acquainted with my weakness and am slowly losing the fear of failure.   God is also reinstating all the promises He has made over my life because they were nor are they dependent on my performance.  Satan deceived me into thinking they were, but they aren’t.  I have something to reach for now, I have a life to live.  

That’s not to say I am free from my struggles, how I wish it was so.  No I am not.  But, I now know, that I can walk this road hand in hand with friends who love me and a God who adores the living snot out of me no matter what I do.  That alone is worth all the riches in the world.  That alone, is indeed priceless….to be continued.