So what if I can’t stand Christmas?


christmas 2007

Its always amusing to me to see people’s reaction when I tell them that I cant stand Christmas.  “But wait” they say “aren’t you like a Christian? Aren’t you SUPPOSED to celebrate Jesus…and stuff”.   But then again, what does celebrating the most amazing person in the world have to do with this thing America calls Christmas?  Don’t get me wrong, I have tried to like the holiday and be like almost everyone else.  I put up a tree, try to sing along the merry tunes of the season (which I actually enjoy…I mean I still sing them even when its not Christmas), walk out on the not so snowy environment that is Florida and try to be nice to people.  But its not before long where I see the hollowness and shear fakeness of the thing American‘s call Christmas.   Soon, people will be charging up a storm on their credit cards to buy gifts they cant afford to give to people whom don’t need these gifts just to assure them that they are loved.  As if you could not show someone you love them through other means.  And God forbid you don’t give a gift to someone.  They will be emotionally traumatized!  Seriously?

Again, don’t get me wrong.  I LOVE gifts.  Absolutely, positively, LOVE gifts.   But, when a nation stresses out over the fact that they HAVE to give a person a gift on this particular day is absurd to me.  Why the stress?  And of course, capitalistic America banks on this fear and anxiety and creates all sorts of adds to tell you that if you don’t give so and so such and such you really don’t care.  When truth be told, it is corporate America who does not care…well at least not about you.

“But you can make the holiday real for you” they say.  Real for me?  I always wonder what they mean by that.   Let me see if I can figure it out.  So, just about almost everyone is out buying gifts and charging up.  Few think about the fact that the celebration is about Jesus (even though the practices originates from pagan practices).  Most are content to sing about Santa Claus and his rain-deers, or the elves or you name it.  The stigma of Jesus is so strong that schools are not allowed to put decorations that remotely hint at His majesty.  There are specific advice about dealing with Christmas stress (what other holiday has that?!), and yet somehow, I’m supposed ignore all that and make Christmas real to me…..I still don’t get it.

For me, its not that Christmas is not real (there’s a shocker).  Christ did come, He was born of a virgin, He lived amongst us, was humiliated, butchered, hung in disgrace, buried, but He

Corcovado jesus

Corcovado jesus (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

rose again, and is alive and coming!.  This is Christmas.  But this celebration needs not happen just one day, its something I celebrate everyday!  The act of giving is something that I strive to practice not just one day of the year but anytime that it is needed and hopefully to those who wont ever be able to pay me back.

Have you ever been in a sauna?  If you go in there one thing will be obvious really quickly…its hot.  You can try to make it cooler around your little area but all around you the temperature will remain hot.  No matter how hard you try to keep somewhat cool, you’ll fail.  The environment has a direct affect on you.  For me, Christmas is the same.  I try to make it “real”.  But the environment is one of greed, hollowness, sadness, despair, false religion, atheistic attack upon my Majesty, etc… but the truth, is that this is not just a one day thing.  This is an everyday thing, its just like any other day.  SO what! Do I sub come?  God forbid.  Greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world.  No, I rise to meet the challenge, and I celebrate the fact that one day, this battle will be over and I will be staring at the most beautiful face of all eternity, longing for an embrace from his majesty.  And on Him my tears will fall for I have longed to see Him for so long.  And He will wipe away my tears.  And He will embrace me and call me beloved son.  OH how I long for that day!  But until then, I will try to see the light in all the deceit.

You think I’m pessimistic don’t you.  I may be.  (I have been called the Grinch before :)). But I still love you 🙂

Juan Castillo Jr.

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The ultimate calling


Vincent Bethell Self Aware Placard

Vincent Bethell Self Aware Placard (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We live in a generation where we are constantly trying to define ourselves.  This takes many forms.  We join clubs in order to find our identities.  We may even affiliate ourselves with certain groups of people or maybe a certain thing.  I see it all the time on my college campus, the student with his Mac book stickers everywhere, telling the whole world he is a strict macbook user and definitely not a PC user.  How about the nature conservatist with the bumper sticker on his car that says “I’m a tree huger” telling the whole world, “My identity lies in my love for nature”.  Or (lets get a little more personal here) how about the rainbow flag in a parade with a house song on the radio screaming lyrics like “pride” and “Jump into the pool”.   We all strive for Identity.  So much so, that without it, we feel lost and out of place.

Yet it is in this conglomerate of different opinions, with different groups, all with their own agenda intent on defining one another, that the quiet still voice says “I define you”.  But who has the time to listen?  We want to choose what defines us now.  It’s our form of control.  It’s our ego booster.  “How is this an ego booster?” you ask.  I’m glad you did :).

I once had a dog called “Baby” (yup, the same one in my previous blog).  I remember me arguing with my dad vehemently to name the dog “Baby”.  Any other name just would not do! You see, if the dog was

This is Baby at my dad’s shop

not named by me, than he would not be mine.  Hence why I was so intent in the dog’s name being baby. (of course, I was young and did not fully realize that the dog belonged to my dad anyways, no matter what the name was lol.  I had to get his permission to name the dog, therefore it was my dad giving the dog the name).  When we have children, we name them, because in some way we believe that the child (or children) is/are ours.  Giving a name to something is the ultimate sign of ownership.  So how does this apply?  A name is a sign of identity.  I wanted to name my dog “Baby” because I thought he was my baby.  Parents (some) name their children certain names in hopes that they will grow to carry out the name’s meaning or just because they like the name.    When we choose what defines us whether it be sexual orientation or preference or even prejudices, we in essence are saying we own ourselves.  To some, there is no problem in the fact that they own themselves.  They are the masters of their own lives.  The keeper of their own fortune and misfortunes.  But this is in direct contrast with God.

The Scriptures are clear. “you were bought with a price”.  “You are not your own” “He who is in Christ is a new creation” “you are fearfully and wonderfully made”.  Over and over, the scriptures are clear.  We are not our own.  We were made and that which is made belongs to Him who made it.  Which means our identity rests in Christ.

Let me put it this way.  When the Lord brought me back from my seven year rebellion.  One of the questions in my mind was “am I ever going to get married? Am I now straight?”  But the Lord replied “I haven’t called you to be straight, I’ve called you to be mine.”  This is something that has brought me so much freedom.  But for a while I thought this only pertained to me.  Now I realize, this answer pertains to everyone,  for you see, the ultimate calling is to be Christ’s.  THAT is our identity.  Plain and simple. At the end of the day (and at the beginning) I am not called to be a worshiper, I worship because I am called to be Christ’s.  I am not called to be a leader, I lead because I am called to be Christ’s.  I am not called to be a lover.  I love because I am called to be Christ’s.

PhotonQ-Isa Gordon on Gargoyle in Your Pocket

Too many people waste too much time and energy trying to figure what God has called them to do.  What they don’t realize is that what they are really asking is “what can I define myself by”  and in turn they kick God off the throne and place themselves in it (rather I should say we kick God of the throne for I am just as guilty). Is our God really so small that He is not going to guide the heart that loves Him in the way he should go?  Does not the scriptures say that “He has laid a path of good works so that we can walk in them”  Don’t they also say “lean not on your own understanding but in all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths”? and even further, does the scriptures not say “don’t worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has its own worries”.   Ministry can become a God.  Scary really.  But when we make our lives revolve around the work of God as oppose to God himself, we effectively say, “I am my own God and this defines me.”  But this does not happen in ministry alone, this can happen with anything…anything at all.

Is seeking God’s will wrong then? Of course not, but seeking His will is not the same as letting His will define you.  When you seek God’s will, you walk through life knowing that He is in control so that “whatever your hands find to do” you do as unto the Lord, because it is unto the Lord.  When God’s will defines you, your main purpose in life is to DO.  Not to know, but to do.  In other words, you are more concerned about the execution of the assignment than about who is the One who has given you this assignment.  And when that happens, you forget about the fact that the assignment is about the assignment giver and not you.  And when that happens, the assignment becomes you.    To put it concretely: You let ministry dictate who you are, when ministry is just an assignment.  Who you are rests in who God says you are, for you are bought with a price.

The problem lies in the fact that this world judges everything by performance.  You will lose your job if you don’t perform well,

A typical bumper sticker used by employers in ...

A typical bumper sticker used by employers in the United States to enable drivers to give them feedback on the driving performance of their employees. Photographed by user Coolcaesar in Redwood City, California, on October 12, 2005. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

therefore your performance is key.  So much so that at times we will identify ourselves with good performance.  Which produces a misplaced emphasis on an exterior action defining interior qualities.  You see, other people can’t see interior qualities.  But in our minds, we have to help them see by the things we do.

Let us therefore brethren, run to Him who knows us.  Look, God created us “you are fearfully and wonderfully MADE”  Make no mistake about that.   HE knows who you are because He created you to be who you are.  The world may have us scared, but the fact is, we still work.  And God still wants us, and He still names us because he Owns us.  I don’t mind being owned, not at all, that is, if I’m owned by  God.

Juan Castillo Jr.

Change of Heart (poem)


I’m captivated by the thought

Of all that seems so wrong

My mind is speeding towards

The enemie’s glass song

If all that seems would cease

And if all that ceased thus fold

Than maybe I could see

Towards Your tender hold

But here there seems to be

A sport, enslavement’s glee

A battle to daily fight

Those who seem so many

Cant deny the heavy told

The anguish to now see

That though I wanted it to be

Its just broken humanity

Cant help to guard away

The creveces by which to come

Through my gates and thus into

The place where im undone

The world enjoys its sport

A bit too much it seems

Therefore I’ll guard my wall so well

And sew loose ends seams

Must show light towards the plains

So darkness will thus flee

But let them not think for a moment

That in me they will be

My guards are up my wall erected

The gate is high and strong

I swear I’ll high guard all entrances

Though many’ll think its wrong

I’ll paint the outter gates

A soothing color scheme

To please the eyes of those who hate

And fool them into being

But lo, you see, how far are you

Away from what is dear?

Don’t think youll ever see

No, you wont ever come near.

yet,

I cant help but to see

How broken some can be

The ones that stand outside my walls

The ones so far from me.

These walls I thought protected

And here I seem affected

In ways I thought I would enjoy

And now my heart’s corrected

I see your pain lost soul

The pain you fail to see

Yet stricken now I am by you

For helping you’s my key

Don’t want these gates to open

For I know just what that means

That which I’ve kept from breaking

I’ll have to let you see

I did that long ago

I did it faithfully

Yet those who saw just took hold

Carelessly trampelling painfully

Nevertheless,

Here I go again to open the gates to a world that seems in need

Here I go again a march thus begins to take hold and turn the key

Of the lock so old I placed it myself to a gate so high so strong

And I’ll swing the door and thus open me wide to a call from which I’ve run.

Juan Castillo Jr.

Dad?


Father & Son

Father & Son (Photo credit: jeroenadema)

This is a previous note that I wrote in specific moment.  However, I am feeling the exact same way right now, and so I decided to post it.

As I listened to my Ipod yesterday while riding the bus heading to work, a song came up in my rotation entitled ABBA Father by Shaun Groves.  The song talks about how God is our “daddy”.  Therein the struggle began.  As I sat in that bus, people staring at seemingly nothing, I struggled with the though, “daddy”.  I have always referred to God as my Dad, cuz He truly has been my “Dad” but as of late, I have truly been made aware at the fact that not only is God my “Dad” but He is also my Lord.  Worthy of my all.  Worthy of my worship and my utmost devotion.    So much so, that the thought of calling God the Father my “Dad” almost now seems sacrilegious.

I could not help it.  Sitting in that bus I started to cry out and share my frustration.  If intimacy is knowing You God.  Than how can You and I ever be intimate?  For who knows You?  How can anyone know You?  I read in Your word where you are God the Almighty, Omnipotent Ruler.  You, who is the Creator of all.  You, who are the God who formed black holes, and supernovas, and suns, moons, planets, galaxies, universes, life, ALL.  Are You not truly worthy of my all?  So when I approach You, what shall I do?  Shall I kneel?  Shall I bow my head to the ground?  How can I do anything less?  If I were to stare at you I would surely die, for what could I possibly ever have seen that could match the beauty that is you.  I know that I have never seen anything that compares.  So how, how do I approach someone so exalted? But then again Lord, your Word says that You are loving and kind, full of mercies and of grace.  And You have to be, because You gave up Your Son.  And You allowed us, who are but mere vapors who think they are something when in reality are nothing, mock, beat and humiliate Him.  WHO ARE WE TO DO ANYTHING BUT GROBEL AT YOUR FEET.  Anyway, through Him You showed us that we are truly loved.  And Your word says it over and over and over again that You are in love with us, heck You even call us Your bride.  So then God, how do we refer to You.  How do we pray to You.  Shall we bow?  Shall we extend our hands?  Shall we remain silent? Shall we speak?

Sometimes God, I just want to walk and know that You are walking with me.  I want to go to the beach and feel the waves splash on my feet, and feel you right beside me, enjoying the waves with me.  Do You do that?  If I were to ask You to take a stroll with me, just because I wanted to spend time with You, would that be OK with You?  Would I offend You to think that something as lowly as I has the audacity to ask of the King of Kings to take a walk with him?  I personally do not enjoy taking strolls with cockroaches, so how would you feel?  I think we are lower than cockroaches.  But yet you love us….

Dad, I want you to walk with me.  I want to go to the beach and meander by the seashore, enjoying the sight of Your creation, but most of all Dad, I want to enjoy You.  You Dad.  MY God You.  I want to sit in the middle of a forest,  where there are no cell phones, no cars, no one trying to backstab you or demanding your attention, and in that place, remain still…just as long as you are in that place with me.   I would love to hike up a mountain, climbing to the heights of the clouds, leaving all the worries of a troubled world behind with all its cynicism, unbelief, and obnoxioties.  But I want to hike the mountain with you.  If I ever fall in love with anyone, I want to fall in love with you first.  I want my heart to explode at the mere mention of Your Name.  I want to lie down and feel You near me.  I want to wake up and feel You near me.  I want to be unashamedly in love with You, with You, with YOU. But OH God, how, how, if I don’t even know how to approach You.  You would think that by now, I would have a better handle on this…but after 14 years of this walk (7 of which was spent in complete rebellion against You) I find myself clueless.  Absolutely clueless.

Dad, you know everything.  Can I hide anything from You?  You know I do love You.  And I know that I love You because You loved me first.  This is vividly clear to me.  I guess Dad, what im trying to figure out is how do I respond to a Holy God who is perfect in every way and demands perfection and yet at the same time is absolutely crazy about His children.  I guess that’s the point isn’t it.  I could never earn that could I.  No matter how I bow, no matter how I approach you, it will be the same, because its not up to me.  You see me through the sacrifice of your Son.  I stand not because I’m good, but because your Son who died for me is Good and He intercedes for me.

I think Dad, the problem is that at times You can seem so impersonal.  I mean c’mon.  Sometimes I feel like I’m talking to thin air.  I wish I could feel your hugs.  I know we have the Spirit.  And there are times Dad when You have broken through and I have felt You.  I know.  But as You know, im a touchy kind of guy.  I need hugs.   I need physical touch.  This distance is killing me.  Cant wait til you return.  OH what a glorious day that will be.  OH to run in your arms and to finall, FINALLY be able to hug You, hug You. Oh and hug You some more,  and maybe I can be a child in Youre arms and be completely content.  That’s my longing anyways.

At any rate Dad.  I hope You are not too upset at me.  I have so much to learn still.  So much.  But I do hope that one day soon, ill be able to run to You, and have all eternity to hug You.  And maybe You can toss me up and maybe tell me loud and clear that You love me…and maybe, I can spend all eternity telling I You I love You…(not like You would not know that but at least I can see Your facial expression…and Im sure it will be smiling.)  OH to see you smile!  Im sure that is the most beautiful sight ever!

Lacerated (A poem)


I’m lacerated 

I fall

I see my blood upon the ground

and when all has stood to a crawl

my strength just cant be found

 

I feel his breath

Hes near

My eyes are wide and full of fear

Im tempted to hand my bow

My sword lay down, give in to tears

 

I hear his laugh

Hes moved with grace

A trained warrior a hardened face

His sword is placed against my fate

Im crushed underneath the weight

 

I muster all the strenght thats left

To move aside a last attempt

To save my soul away from his cleft 

I fail and am lacerated once again

My blood is spread against the dark bend

 

My time is near

I sence it so.

And thus I close my eyes and expect the blow

The one that will end my chance to sow

And thus enslave my soul

 

And here, a gleem of light goes through my thoughts

A gesture that had never occured to see

To reach out my hand to one who is stronger than me

To rescue whats left and set me free

To give my plea

 

No strength left  cant raise my hand

I fear for the time draws near to meet my end

What sign can I do to request the help from You

My heart cries out, yet I cant speak

Am I already gone through?

 

I hear a sound behind me

The world infront of me goes black.

And all is still

Blood trickles down my back

Now my body feels no slack

 

Yet in the midst of the dark I feel a tugg

A strong pull towards rising

Not of my will, out of the mud

Created by the poodle of blood

And slowly I start stirring

 

As I rise I see

The darkness overtaking me

Is not of death but of shadow 

Of One behind my battle

The ground still reflects my struggle

 

I turn to face the caster

A horrid sight awaits me

For never have I seen something so frightning

Yet so stricking

In awe I fall gasping

 

A mountain tall and wide

With eyes of fire and countenance of light

A sword spears out his mouth

And when he speaks all fears and doubts

Are drawn clear and out

 

I dare not look up, my body shackes in terror

The sight is like nothing I have ever seen

Could I have been wrong, in error?

Was this part of a frightening dream

A desperate attempt of my final destination’s gleam?

 

But his voice assures me, of the fear i felt before

His reality is not to be underscored

In front of me he stands

He is the Lord

He is the Lord

 

In His presence I see what I am

And finally see what has been done

For the shadow was not my passing

It was his cover and his blessing

Under His wings I was all along resting

 

The stillness I felt was not my sentence

It was his power calming my senses 

And in that moment, His greatness saved me

From my foes encampment

My Lord tore down his fences

 

The blood I felt was not my own.

That final blow He took to save my soul

His blood spatterd on me, a blow undeserved

But he took it and called me son

Redeeming thus what i had undone

 

And now, he stands before

Nothing else compares to the might

The world seems to bend at the blast of his Light

Yet anger is nowhere in sight

He speaks and my heart is set alight

 

I feel an embrace, and rise to meet the sight of a road

Im clothed in new garments and my wounds are healed

Yet scars remain to remind me of the battlefield

And in the distance I see other who are battleling still

Little do they know, all they have to do is ask and be still.

 

To them I must go

To tell them of the warrior who saved me

The one who loved me enough to take the blow so I could see

That the enemy is not all hes cracked up to be

But in His light, the shadow of protection will forever be

 

 

Juan Castillo Jr

Chick Fil-A and Marriage. My response


Chicks

Chicks (Photo credit: SimonM.)

Ok so a few of you have been asking me why I supported Chick Fil-A.  So I figured I would write this blog to answer some questions and explain my view on the whole issue.  This is in response to some of the Facebook comments I’ve received and some messages.

Now before I go on, I am going to warn you, the reader.  First, I’m going to try to be as honest as possible.  With that said, I can almost assure you that I am about to offend you no matter what side of the issue you are on.  I hope however, you can hear me out and at least understand where I’m coming from.

If you are unaware of the issue at stake you can check out these links for different versions of the story

NPR: http://www.npr.org/2012/07/27/157417229/chick-fil-a-gay-flap-a-wakeup-call-for-companies

NYT: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/26/us/gay-rights-uproar-over-chick-fil-a-widens.html

CNN: http://www.cnn.com/2012/07/27/us/chick-fil-a-controversy/index.html

FOX: http://radio.foxnews.com/toddstarnes/top-stories/chick-fil-a-battle-turns-political.html

Some blog: http://www.greatbendpost.com/2012/07/27/chick-fil-a-controversy-reach-kan-universities/

Colbert Report: http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/417013/july-26-2012/chick-fil-a-s-anti-gay-marriage-announcement

(I tried to get all angles)

Ok let’s begin.

I want to start of first of all by addressing one thing.  According to Websters dictionary, Hate is:a : intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injuryb : extreme dislike or antipathy : loathing <had a great hateof hard work>

2: an object of hatred <a generation whose finest hate had been big business — F. L. Paxson>

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hate

The gay community keeps accusing Christians of Hate.  I disagree with this, we have our views but to say that we HATE you because we disagree on something is unreasonable and unfounded.  My best friend in the whole world whom I would give my life if I had to is openly gay.  I love the heck out of this guy, unashamedly.  For some group to tell me that I HATE him is offensive.  Moreover, we have our differences (obviously) but at the end of the day I respect him as much as he respects me.  There is no Hate, there is only a difference.

So, now that we have that straight, let’s talk about marriage (and here I warn you, you probably will be offended).

The truth is, I disagree with both sides on the issue of marriage.  On the one hand, The Gay and Lesbian community want to use this issue to label and bully (yes bully) the Christian community for their belief on marriage.  Accusing us of hate (as stated above) and boycotting businesses because of our beliefs.   It’s hypocritical to act this way when this community is constantly speaking of the victimization they endure from the right wing conservatives; especially when this community preaches “equality”.   Equality, for whom?  Only you?  As someone who has lived and partaken in the gay community, is easy for me to see the disparity on the fact that when an issue is somehow against the gay community, it is hate or “Anti-gay”, yet when it’s for the gay community, its somehow good.  Where is the chance to disagree on anything?  Why can’t you, gay community, separate an issue from a person?  Or what, do you think that you guys don’t do it too?  Recently I was told that I tend to stereotype the homosexual community due to my experience, an observation that I have to confess is true. I don’t intentionally do it, but after reading my blogs I realized, this person was right.  However, on the same premise, I realized that the gay community does the same thing.  So I guess my question for you guys is: who has the right to “hate”.  You obviously do it, and apparently so do we, so who has the right to hate?

And now for the other side.  In spite of my criticism of the homosexual community, I believe, they do have a point.  Their request to marry really is not as grievous as we make it out to be.  I understand that marriage is a picture of the Union of Christ with the Church.  But they don’t hold to those standards nor should we even try to force them to.  Our call is to reach people for Christ.  We are not going to do that by making same sex marriage our outreach platform.  We need to make Christ our platform.  That God calls us to holiness? Of course.  However, remember Christ’s ministry here on earth?  He never spoke about the corruptness of the government….not once.  He was rarely political.  His major beef was with the Pharisees, for THEY had the charge to lead the people to God and they instead used it for politics and power.  God was furious with them.  However, when he approached a sinner, it was with the utmost gentleness.  Because he knew, that the main thing was and still is, relationship with the father.  I say, if homosexuals want to marry, let them.  We cannot force someone to act in a nature that is not theirs.  This will not bring them closer to Christ.  If they accept Christ, then we can speak and admonish them for they become family.  But like a wise person once told me, “they won’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.”  We need to care.  We need to love.  And as someone who has experienced persecution for what I’ve gone through, I know very well how “unloving” the church can be.  So, I don’t know how far this blog will go, or who will read it.  But, I hope that you can see that this issue of gay marriage is diverting us from the main goal, which is Jesus.  Forcing righteousness on someone will not turn them to Jesus.  Jesus will turn them to righteousness, but even Jesus, doesn’t force himself on someone and if our master and King doesn’t do it; neither should we.  The apostles were never political in the sense of political practice.  They were vocal about their faith, and that on Jesus, not on whether Rome should use slaves in the games or whatever else.  And when debates arose, it was never about religious practice from a Christian to a non-Christian, it was always about religious practice from a Christian to another claiming Christian.   Therefore, brothers and sisters in Christ, I admonish you.  Let the main thing be the main thing and that is Jesus.  I could care less about whether the homosexual community marries or not.  My God is bigger than that.

So why then did I support Chick Fil-A?  Easy.  Even though the marriage debate is not really an issue I make a point in engaging, the fact that the homosexual community has risen together to harm a brother in Christ will not go unnoticed.  Ultimately, I belong to the body of Christ.  And in spite of the fact that this issue is really not something I consider worthy of my time in though, the support of my Christian brother is; especially when they are the victims of hate.

I hope this answers the questions (and comments) I have received.  Please feel free to ask any other question you may have if you so care to.  I am not offended in the least bit….(well maybe a little at the people that tell me that I HATE my best friend).  And I hope that, even though I am sure I have offended some, you may take this, meditate on it, agree or disagree, but in the end, Love me in spite of it

Juan Castillo Jr.

I will trust in You


Scared child

Scared child (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Father, the hour aproaches and my fear is trying to choke me.

The promises that I feel came from you flash across my mind, and my eyes and my ears.

But the question of wehther these were from You or not lingers.  A distant neusance that clouds my peace.

Yet, in this moment.  I choose to trust You.

Has there been a time that you have failed me?

Have I ever been disapointed in your leading?

Even when I did not understand, in the end, you proved to be right!

Oh God.  The Lord who called me out of darkness and gave me a new name.

The One who has clothed me in new clothes and who daily lavishes me with so much love.

How foolish am I to doubt!

Give me Your strenght to trust your lead!

I fear the excitment rising within me.

I dread the possibility of rising in the morning, only to find a door shut.

A door, that I very much want open.

But You oh God.

Are You not the One who turns people’s hearts like you turn the rivers?

Can anyone or anything truly resist Your will?

May such foolishness depart from my mind!

You are God!

What God can compare to you Mighty Lord of Hosts!

What wall can possibly resit to your battering ram!

What army has an incling of power to match yours!

Can the will of man prevail against yours?

Is my fate not locked inside your hands?

Did you not love me before the foundation of the world

and am I not loved still?

I am your child, beloved by you.

Loved with a love unknown to men.

Who can stand between me and You!

If there is a mountain between us, will you not level it just to get to me?

Your love is better than wine

and no honey is as sweet as You.

Therefore, though my foolish heart tells me to fear, I will not

I will rest in You and You alone

For You alone are Omnipotent, and there is nothing that can stand up to You.

May You be Glorified my most awesome Father.

May this be an ocassion to demonstrate your power and make known that truly You are God

and there is truly no God like You.

Im honored with the very inspiring blogger award!


Hi guys!

I’ve been nominated for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award (Yei!!!) . I would like to thank Miss Zari at Travel Culture Food http://travelculturefood.wordpress.com/ for this nomination.  I am glad that you have found this blog inspiring :), again thank you.

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

1. Link back to the person who nominated you: Thank you http://travelculturefood.wordpress.com/ 

2. Post the award image to your page:

3. Tell 7 facts about yourself:

  1. I can move my adam’s apple from side to side
  2. I LOVE to sing.  In fact, one of my dreams was and kind of still is to become a contemporary Christian artist
  3. My favorite season is Spring…hands down with no comparison
  4. I dont like Ice cream
  5. Im a guy who like the movie “the notebook”
  6. Im a total tree hugger….totally.
  7. I much rather go to a park than watch a movie.

4. Nominate 15 other bloggers and let them know they’ve been nominated:

1. http://yalandarose.wordpress.com/about/

2. http://floridabehindthescenes.wordpress.com/

3. http://borderingblunt.wordpress.com/

4. http://slapppshotblog.com/

5. http://rebelsprite.wordpress.com/

6. http://proficiencyparadigms.com/ 

7. http://kingcohl.com/

8. http://ezerwoman.wordpress.com/

9. http://ljayhealth.wordpress.com/

10. http://inkjot.wordpress.com/

11. http://catholicmysticwind.wordpress.com/

12. http://mwfseekingbff.com/

13. http://hikingphoto.com/

14. http://lesleycarter.wordpress.com/

15. http://mybroom.wordpress.com/

Little poor peep (poem)


English: Turkey chick

I’m tired indeed

Said the poor Little Peep

As he started to go out and play

My arms start to hurt

And my legs start to ache

As I find myself playing all day

So ill rest here a bit

Said the poor Little Peep

As his legs gave their hold on the hay

Ill lay here real still

Ti’l soon I will feel

The desire to play once again

So the poor Little Peep

Exhausted in sleep

Laid down on the eve of May

Little not knowing

Yet surely thus stirring

The sky turned fast to dark gray

But poor Little Peep

So fast asleep

Did not know that the trees now swayed

So tired was he

That poor Little Peep

Unable to wake and him save

The sky thus turned dark

As lightning from far

Lit up the ominous day

But poor Little Peep

In dreams he laid deep

Unable to see he cant stay

A shout from above

The dreaded sound of

The fury of tempest and storm

And now Little Peep

Awakening from sleep

Is caught in a current of war

And struggling to keep

This poor Little Peep

Alive and bring him to shore

A single Wood Chip

Came along in a jip

To lend his buoyancy towards

The poor Little Peep

Miserable he

All wet and caught in the storm

But saved by the act

Of the single Wood Chip

Now wanting to inform

He tweets to his peeps

This little poor Peep

To see if they are safe and warm

But wanting to play

The peeps played all day

And had no strength to hang on

Juan Castillo Jr.