Before the fall (poem)


I sit on this ledge and thus now I see

the wind has sterred daintily free

my desire to join, transparent, unbound

whispering waltz, truth has found

The one who’s rescued stands and sing

bound to what the chains cant sting

oh to open my arms and embrace the freedoms thats due

oh to run through a field and there find my heart to be true

I wish to compose a melody only to You

a sweet song thats fiery yet blue

express the feelings I cant seem to express with this mouth

thus resulting my attempt to write the foggiests of clouts

who could ever sit, or dare to bare the burden of this log

who would sit to chat with a lion hobling from a broken paw

its shame thus shared for all to plainly see

hes tired of all the hobbling, and all hes claimed to be

A roar is no longer heard in his mouth

no longer willing to stand to fight that which has not been found

slowly draining the blood locked inside the bag of flesh

seemingly dwindled, to the point of failing the test

yet not given the freedom to fail

cannot fail to hold the rest

Juan Castillo Jr.

School starts (the ugly head)


English: A picture of the University of Florid...

And so, with a seeming crooked smile, school makes its ugly appearing onto the death of a insightful summer.  Ok maybe that’s a bit harsh, but when your first week already makes your head spin in all sorts of directions without a North Pole to guide you…well, Its hard for me not to be this harsh.  With a 34 page paper already on its way, a presentation at the Georgia Planning Association conference scheduled, presidential responsibilities of a Student Planning Association for the University of Florida, and now what seems to be chapters of books of reading, more presentations, more presentations, oh and more presentations.  I hardly know where to find dry land to stand on.  I think i have reached the point in my life when im starting to realize…im too old for school!  Nevertheless, school is a bullet that..well, must be taken.  I am fortunate that so far my classes, as extensive in their proliferation of inundating work may be, are actually quite enjoyable.  This semester I will be learning more about transportation and its interaction with land use.  (IE. Transit Oriented Development).  Aaaaaand I will also be engaged in a Coastal Change Studio, where I get to explore tactics to present information to the public in regards to coastal change.

September promises (and from the looks of it this promise will be kept) to be a very busy month for me.  Two conferences to attend, with 13 credit hours (grad credit hours mind you) and two jobs….busy indeed.  But Alas, how many people can claim such blessings!…nothing like a good note to make me realize how foolish my rantings can sometimes be lol.

Forgive me (poem)


Forgive me oh Lord for the things that I do
For turning and swaing for bending whats true
For leading them through a path far from you 
Forgive me Oh Lord and make me brand new

Forgive me oh Savior for taming the shrew
Forgetting whats life, so afraid to go through
Yet in all of this walking I slip of my shoes
Forgive me oh Lord for forgetting you’re You

Forgive me my Savior for Your mercies I threw
Far away from my mind when the time was now due
With chains on my legs, I have pulled your word through
The mind that I could do this walk without you

And now oh my Savior, my glorious Light
I come to you humbled with You on my sight
Cant look to my left, nor now to my right
Hungry Im seeking your guiding delight

Your Glory for ever my fire my beat
Your heart my thirst quenches with passion and heat
A dawning of mercies flow from Your seat
Renewing my sight til that one day we meet

The wave now arrives, the rocks its strenght shatters
The story of age has ceased to now matter
The chains that did bind rusted they scatter
Though scars may remain, with You I walk farther.

Juan Castillo Jr.

To be saved


Jesus

Jesus (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Its funny how we like to make things more complicated than what they really are. Salvation does not need to be one of them. “Salvation from what?” you may be asking.

Well, salvation from it all. At the word “salvation” people immidiately put up religious barriers. “But im not religious” you may say. The truth is, we are all religious in one way or the other. We all value something, dont we? So we are all religious. Simple. You want proof? Atheism = Religion of self. They believe that you are in control of your own destiny, therefore anything and everything that happens is controled by your actions, not by chance nor higer being. Theists, believe that there is a higher being that requires our devotion. The truth is we all fall in one of these categories, therefore we are all religious.

Now, may I ask you to bring down the religious walls, and bare with me for a moment. We have all done sometthing wrong in life

English: Fountain of Eternal Life

right? The answer is yes, we all have done something wrong. That candy you stole from the candy store when you were five? Yeah, that was wrong. Or that bad word you said to you friend because you were upset, that was wrong too. The truth of the matter is that we all do bad things. Why we dont realise it as much is because we all categorize these bad things. For example, stealing candy from a store is not as bad as killing someone on the street (or anywhere esle for that matter). This is a categorization. We assume that our wrong doing is somehow greater in someways than others. The truth however, is that a wrong is a wrong, no matter what you do. Killing someone is just as wrong as stealing candy from a store. Kind of harsh you might think. It is harsh, but the truth is that the punishement for our wrong doing is even harsher. In the scriptures, it says that the “wages of sin is death”. ….Last time I checked, I did not die from my misdeed, (otherwise, it would be kinda difficult to be writing this blog). SO what does the scripture mean when it says “the wages of sin is death”. Sin is what we do wrong. and we should all be familiar with wages. Wages is what we earn. what we WORK for. Most people these days have jobs. they receive wages for what they do. is their payment. God says that our payment for what we WORK for is death. Thats kinda of sad. What kind of death though? Its a spiritual death. Eternal separation, damnation, judgemnt.

“what I dont understand is this, if God is such a loving father/God, why would he send people to hell?” Good question. And there is an answer, if you want to keep reading, but first, i must finish the verse. “the WAGES of sin is death, BUT the GIFT of God is Eternal Life.” Salvation is a gift of God, from God, to us. We should all be familiar with gifts. If I give you 20 bucks as a gift, it means its yours for no reason whatsoever. You dont have to work for it, you dont have to do me a favor first, no, a gift (a true gift that is) has no strings attached to it because its free, (and no this is not an infomertial). And God says that eternal life is a gift. Its free. It means that you dont have to be good enough, strong enough, smart enough, good looking enough. Nothing enough, its free, salvation is free. Simple. You see, the payment for sin, which is death, is something that we could never pay in order to obtain eternal life because the death described in the scriptures IS the seperation FROM eternal life. In other words, you cant pay the payment for sin. There is no way. none. What about if you do enough good deeds. Sounds like a good idea right? Ive heard it said that if you do a enough good deeds that your good deeds outweight the bad ones. The problem with this is that in the book of Isaiah in the scriptures it says that God sees our good works as dirty rags (referring to menstrual rags…no joke). In other words, our best efforts are not enough to even be clean rags. Well, there goes the good outweighing the bad idea, if anything, the good deeds we do just adds to the bad side of the scale, before you know it, theres nothing on the good side of the scale because what we thought we were doing good, God says “sorry, those are dirty rags”

So if we cant be good enough and we are all people who have done bad things (wether it be cursing or whatever). What can we do? Nothing really. But the scriptures says this “if you confess with your mouth the Lord JESUS and BELIEVE in your HEART that God has raised Him from the Dead, THOU SHALT BE SAVED. I capatilize the words for emphasis.

You see, we all have a debt to pay, one that we cannot ever pay. Because of this debt, God the Father sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, who was born of a virgin, who lived without comitting sin. But then was crucified and killed for us. The scriptures says, that God, judged sin, on His Son on the cross. But it doesnt end there. Jesus died, and was buried, but on the third day, the scriptures says he rose again. Proving that he had power over death. and because of this, he guarantees the same for us. You see when Christ died on the cross, He was not paying for his own sins…no he had none. instead, he was paying for someone elses. He was paying for the sins of those who would turn and give their lives to Him.

The scriptures says that He is one day coming back to gather those whom He has saved and take them with Him to a place He has prepared for them. Away from suffering, pain, sorrow. An Eternal life of walking in peace, without worries, or fears. And the awesome part of it all, is that he is calling out to you. Yes you, the reader. “For God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten SON that WHOSOEVER believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life” Whosoever mean anynone….anyone. It does not say anyone except…..no, it says anyone, it says you.

So why would such a loving father send people to hell? I guess now you have the answer, but let me try to clarify a bit. God does not send us to hell, we do that to our selves. He sent His son as a means so that we wont have to go to hell BECAUSE he loves us

There was a hiker who hiked this tall mountain. at the very top, he came across a very peculiar sight, he saw a long line of people jumping off a cliff. He did not understand why would these people would do such a thing. so he decided to build a bridge so that people would not jump off the cliff, but instead reach the other side. once the bridege was completed he rean up and down the line telling people about the bridge and how to get safely accross the cliff. Some people (very few) obeyerd the hiker and took the bridge safely accross, however, a great multitude continued to throw themselves down the cliff. Some of the people actually complained, saying that the bridge was a neusence, others blamed the hiker for the people throwing themselfves down the cliff stating that the hiker was a  distraction. However, still some made it accross.

Its weird to jump of a cliff when there is a bridge right next to you, ready and available, however, tons of people do this every day. God has provided a way through His Son.  The only way.  There is no other bridge.  All you have to do, is accept the invitation.  All you have to do, is not jump of a cliff. I pray you may decide to take the bridge instead of throwing yourself down the cliff.

MUCH LOVE

Juan Castillo Jr.

I’m not called to be straight, I’m called to be His


Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women'...

 

I was chatting with a friend of mine (whose name I wont release cuz I don’t have permission) and the subject of homosexuality came up (figures). To make a long story short we came upon the whole subject of who I was going to be dating now, women or men? And I think God showed me something that I think I should share. Not because I need to air out my dirty laundry but because I think that is something that can benefit anyone and everyone.
When God called me back from 7 years of rebellion, there was something he impressed upon me. That fact that I am His. I was bought with a price the scripture says. Therefore, I no longer am anything but His. And that is more than sufficient. So, when I decided to turn away from the homosexuality, I decided to live for Him. So the question arises, am I going to date women now? am I going to marry?. I honestly don’t think so because I’m still not attracted to women in that way. God hasn’t as of yet given me a desire for a female friend in an amorous way therefore i doubt greatly marriage is an option for me.  I probably wont ever marry, needless to say I wont have children, but the fact of the matter is that when God called me, he did not call me to be “straight” He called me to be His. SO whether I am attracted to women or not, I am totally God’s. Hard thing for some people to swallow, I know. But the truth is I am totally content with that. There is a scripture that says that heaven is not about marrying and being given into marriage. Mind you, that this part in scripture does not talk about marriage specifically, its in a totally different context. HOWEVER! it gives us a glimpse as to what happens in heaven, and if heaven is not about marriage and being given into marriage, then why is it so important here? I don’t have to procreate. In fact, its probably better if i spare someone the baggage of the many scars I obtained from living recklessly. But one thing is true and will always be true. God called me to be His. And only His. For He is a jealous God the scripture says. How awesome to be jealoused over by someone who is so much more than I could ever hope to be. Who sees me with nothing but Love and who corrects not to harm me but because he cares too much not too.
Now, how in the world does this apply to you. Well, my struggle is homosexuality, but that’s my struggle, your struggle could be something completely different, IE. porn, drugs, lying, gossiping, you name it. Giving this up will leave a whole that must be met. The world will say, you must not give it up because whats gonna fill it? But God says “Give it up and I will fill it for YOU are MINE” That is of course if you are truly His. For not everyone that calls him Lord is truly His.
SO for us, His Children, we know that He will never leave us nor forsake us. We can wake up every morning and look at the mirror and know that what we see is nothing compared to what God sees and we are His. We can face our trials and our falls with hope, for we know WE are HIS.
Someone said, your God is a crutch. and I say, YUP! A Mighty big one, and I lean on it with all I have for I am but a maned, handicapped, traveler, who was bought with too great of a price to ever pay it back.

 

Oh my girls (scary moment, needed insight)


English: Pink Puppy Designs, http://www.PinkPu...

I was remebering a time when I still had my wonderful “girls” (two female dogs, Sashi and Mimmer) and I went to take them out for a walk. It was dark the night I took them out but some of the street light where on. I used to always take them out near a trasch can where there was a nice patch of grass designated for pets in the apartment complex. This particular evening, like every other evening I was bringing my girls there when in the darkness I saw some movement near the trash can. From the size of the shadow and the way it moved i knew exactly what it was. But, unfortunetly so did my girls, and sure enough they went barkig and holloring after the shadow. Now if you guys have never ran into a racoon before, pray you dont. These things are vicious and nasty. I know because of all the discovery channel shows Ive seen :). However, I did not want to find out first hand of their vicious reputation. My girls did though, and so they went holloring after the animal. I knew what that thing would do to my precious dogs if I allowed them near it. So I yanked on the leashes with quite some force in essence throwing my dogs back in my direction. If you would have just casually passed by you might have said something like, “what a jerk, why does he have dogs if he does not like them”. But the truth is, I loved them too much not to yank as hard as i could.
That night, I honestly thought I was going to see my girls get devoured by a Racoon. Praise God I pulled on the leashes before they engaged it.
This episode reminds me a lot of how God must see us and how we treat him. You see, we are like my dogs. We dont comprehend the dangers around us. We have no idea whats behind the trash cans. But God does, and sometimes he yanks on our leashes…HARD! But

A German Shepherd Dog.

A German Shepherd Dog. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

not because he hates us. But because he loves us too much not too.
The world sees God and says, “why would you follow something with so much rules and/or someone who is so hard, you should be free to do what you want to do” but the truth is, God’s rules are there for our good. not for our harm. If my dogs did not have those leashes on, I dear say I would be writing a totally different note this evening. But due to the leash upon them, they were saved that night, and are still alive to this day (and Ill be seeing them come this Christmas God willing). In an odd way, God has a leash on his children, not because we are not free, but because no matter how smart you and I may think we are, we will not nor do we understand everything that happens around us or willl happen. But God does. SO its no wonder that He says “Lean not on your own understanding, but in all of your ways acknowledge me, and I will direct your paths” Dad is awesome! He keeps us away from the racoons in life. So now I can identify with David in Psalm 119, when he says How marvelous are God’s laws. Because these laws are not meant to oppress but to protect.

Juan

Gym pet peeves (Humor)


Gym shot

Gym shot (Photo credit: Tyson Cecka)

OK, normally im not really an irritable kind of guy….much….not that much……ok maybe just a little… But I’m getting better! Anyways, I work at a gym (have been working at gyms now since God knows how long) and there are things that people do while at the gym that just drive me up a wall and back and up a wall again….and then back down. Following are a few of my pet peeves. IF you do these…….well, may God have mercy on your soul.
(these are not in order of importance…cuz they all irritate me about equally)

1. Talking on the phone while on a cardio machine.
Ok. Before you start pointing fingers, let me say that it is true, most of the people I see doing this are ladies. HOWEVER, I have seen men doing it too! And when you are trying to work out right next to them, IT IS SOOOOOO ANNOYING!!! I mean really, do I really want to hear what Sarah said to Stacy about Erika! CMON! Normally I try to stay clear away from people who are using their cells and working out but when its jammed packed and there’s only one machine open and its right next to the girl with the phone (or guy, but as I said is mostly girls)…..Sometimes I just rather skip cardio. SO unless its an emergency, leave the phone in your locker.

2. Leaving your weights on the floor after you use them.
This is mainly done by guys. It always amazes me how people seem to think they have servants following them everywhere they go,

200 pounds heavy dumbbells Category:Weight_tra...

and if they dont think like that, they surely act like it. Seriously, is it that hard for someone to rerack the weights they were using after they are done? or what, they are soooo tired they cant do it themselves. Some can curl 50 pound dumbbells and yet cant put a 25 pond dumbbell back where they got it from.

3. IF you re-rack, re-rack them in the same spot you got them from!
OK, I was doing dumbbell presses with 80lbs dumbbells, I took them from the slot that had the number 80 CLEARLY printed on it. I did my exercise, I went to re-rack my weights (like everyone should) and when I got to the same spot that I had originally take my 80lbs dumbbells from (which are pretty darn heavy) guess what I found. 75lbs DUMBBELLS!!!!! Now, last time I checked I was in college. I am sure that they have taught us how to count by now, or at least to recognize numbers. SO how is it that people can confuse numbers so easily? If you grab 75lbs weight, put it back where it says 75lbs. not 80 or 90 or 45 for that matter! (yes, that has happened and it sucks)

4. Profanity
Now I understand that people are grown ups and bad language(which is just that, BAD) is normal in our society. However, like

Cartoon of a person waving fist

everything in life, there is a place and time for it. Is it really necessary for someone to go off ranting about M@$#&R F*$!R, and FK, S^@T, and what ever else? Especially when every other word you speak is one of the words implied above. That’s not necessary. If you really feel like cursing and just cant control it, step outside, have a cursing fit and then come back and delight us with your grunting 🙂

5. Obnoxious grunting
(this btw is not the grunting stated above). Now I understand, some of you can bench 500lbs. however, is it really necessary to let the WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD KNOW that that is what you are doing? Just a thought.

6. Display of Inaccurate Urine Excretion.
Is it necessary to tell the whole world that you dont have good aim by displaying the after math of your restroom escapade on the

toilet seat? Really? The least you can do is grab some toilet paper and wipe the seat or something. Elk, u say? Just imagine what the guy that came behind you said.

7. Inappropriate discard of Gum.
….all i have to say to this one is that someone owes me a new pair of pants..and when I find you, well…….

8. Inconsiderate people!
I understand that most of us think the world revolves around us (yes I am in that camp too…sadly). However, try to be more polite in the gym. One thing is to be in your zone (which I normally am when I workout, so if I look like I am mad, im not, im just in my zone). But its completely different to be in yoru zone and forget to wipe after you use a machine, or block the mirror for someone behind you just so that you can talk to your friends….or have a 1 hour conversation with your friend near someone who is lifting heavy weights!. Please people be considerate of people who are actually working out.

Muscle memory

9. 1 hour conversation with friends in your immediate area.
Working out with friends is awesome because it pushes you farther than you thought you could go…well it depends on the friends…some just want to talk….dont know why. Anyways. Whatever the case maybe, I dont think talking in the gym with your friends is a bad thing per sey, just dont do it right next to me when I have 90lbs dumbbells on top of me and I’m about to put them on the floor after a set……I could really hurt myself trying to avoid placing these really heavy things on your foot cuz you want to talk to your friend right next to me.

10. Hover over me while you wait for me to get off the machine so that you can use it.
I know that we are creatures of habits. Therefore, it is only natural that we feel more comfortable with certain machines as opposed to other ones….HOWEVER! Is it really worth ruining the focus of someone else, just to let them know that you are impatiently waiting for them to finish so that you can use the machine (cuz its all about you anyways right?). Not only that, but seeing that there is usually more than one way to work out a specific muscle group, is it that important for you to use this one machine I am on right now!!!!

11. Immodest clothing
This is mainly for ladies but for guys too. Please be considerate of the fact that people do have eyes. and when you pass by them they

English: Fitness Model posing with dumbell. Ph...

are going to look at you, and when you wear clothes that practically shout LOOK AT MY BODY! LOOK AT MY…WHATEVER! They are going to look even more. “well they should not look” you say. True, but the question really is, if you dont want them looking, why wear it? Be modest in the gym, it helps everyone’s concentration.

12. Hogging 3 or 4 machines!
Again, THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU! if you need to use 3 or more machines for circuit training, here are a few tips. A. Come at a time when is not busy.
B. Let someone work in with you if they need one of the machines.
C. Let someone work in with you if they need one of the machines.
D. Let someone work in with you if they need one of the machines.
E. Let someone work in with you if they need one of the machines.
(I think you get the point).

13. Treating employee’s disrespectfully
It is no ones job to deal with rubbish. If you get a kick out of being one of those difficult people who complain about anything and everything under the sun just because you feel like that’s what the gym attendants are paid to do (listen to you whine), well, im sorry but you are wrong. Be more considerate to workers of whatever gym you go to. They work really hard to make sure that you have a pleasurable experience at the gym, the least you can do is make sure that they have a pleasurable experience at their jobs. Dont get me wrong, there are Issues that you should always approach the attendant about (broken machines, injuries, questions and concerns) However, one thing is legitimate concern and the other is whining (not bright enough, not dark enough, member’s B.O., Disagreements concerning policies). And this goes for other customer service related fields as well.

14. Disagreeing over policies.
Sometimes, there are policies in a gym that are uncomfortable (no food in gym, guest policies..etc). But does throwing a fit in front of 20 spectators and voicing your opinion on how the gym sucks (only to come back and use the same gym the next day) going to help change them? If you really are that distraught about the policy, then be mature about it and speak to people who can do something about it in a civilized fashion…fits is not civilized.

Description of relations between Axial tilt (o...

These are just a few of my pet peeves, lol. I hope I did not scare anyone. just keep these in mind as you enjoy a good workout. AND remember, if everybody avoids doing the things mentioned above, this world will be a marvelous place :)…or close to it….somewhat close…..CLOSE ENOUGH FOR ME ANYWAYS…cuz as we all know, its all about me, isnt it?

Love you all,

Juan

Passion of Architecture VS Passion for Christ


architecture models

architecture models (Photo credit: C.O.D. Library)

This was written while I was still working on finishing my undergrad in Architecture.  I’ve always enjoyed Architecture and design but when it comes to a comparison with Christ…well…..it just doesn’t compare.

So I was working out (something that needs to start happening again…). And for whatever reason, in between sets, I started to think. I really like architecture and i was about to call it a passion (in my head mind you) when it struck me. What is passion, and is architecture really my passion? Can I sit down and justify me calling architecture my passion? The online dictionary defines passion as a “strong emotion such as love, hate, anger…etc” But somehow that doesn’t fit the bill. In my opinion, true passion is something that you are willing to give your whole life to. For example, if you love someone passionately, at that moment, that love is your number one priority, therefore its more important than life itself. I guess in my mind for me to say that I am passionate about architecture would mean that I am saying that I would be willing to make my whole life about architecture…and that’s where the problem is. Architecture as much as I enjoy it, cant be my passion. It is my labor and my contribution to my society but it absolutely cannot be my passion, for in life, there is only one reason that is justified in requiring a complete abandonment to oneself and relinquishing all that you know about yourself for this one cause, or person and that reason is Jesus Christ. You see, I realize that nothing in life…absolutely nothing in life is more important than Jesus Christ. For me, architecture cant be my passion for it would mean that my whole soul and ardent time and all emotion would be devoted to it and at the end of the day, or at the end of my life, I will die and what of my passion for architecture….it will die with me.
But a passion for Christ will never die for even in death, I will be alive with Him and my passion will forever remain with Him.
Many great architects have made architecture there life, and their work speaks to their great love for architecture. That’s what makes them great, the energy that they spend to perfect their passion. I guess that means I wont ever be a great architect….an architect? yes, but never like Meis Vandero or Phillip Johnson, nor like Le Corbusier, or Frank Lloyd Wright. For at the end of the day, my passion is Jesus Christ. And though I may not be that exemplary Christian, I know that my true love, my passion, is for Christ. My craft is but secondary and a tool for His glory. For those gifts where given by Him.
It is not a depressing thought really. For in my weakness He shows himself strong like His Word says. In that case, I guess it is possible for me to be a great architect, If I let the Lord lead me. And in all honesty, I cant think of any greater architect than His Majesty, Our Lord Jesus Christ. Don’t you agree?

Come, let us lie unto the Lord


Artist Woman Singing Concert in Jazz Club

The song begins to play, an you prepare your voice, willing to let it loose. Familiar lyrics are sung by tthe leader and simultaniously they appear on a big screen (just in case you forgett what the lyrics say). And as everyone comenses the singing, these are the words that are sung. “This is the air I breathe, this is the air I breathe,,your holy presence, living in me.” The time of worship has begun. Or has it?
My pastor has said that he wishes we could sing the song “I am a friend of God” as “I maybe the friend of God”. This satement reminds me of something I heard a looooong time ago in a singles retreat. The speaker (whos name I forgot) said this: “most of the lying in church takes place in our praise and worship singing” as he explains it, because we dont fully realize what we are singing and for the most part we dont really mean it. Lets take the song “breathe” for a sec. These are part of the words: “This is the air I breathe”.  What is the air I breathe “Your holy presence” so the song so far is saying God’s Holy presence is the air we breathe. Have you thought about that? What would happen if you were to fall into the deep end of the pool and you dont know how to swim? You would frantically try to get out because otherwise you would drown, because your air has been cut off and you neeed air to survive…..”This is the air i breathe”. Do we really feel like we need God’s presence that is living in us to survuve? i know some of you are nodding your head, and I wish I could nod right along with you, but then I too would be lying. You see, as the church, if we truly believed these words we would live radically different lives. to say that God’s presence is the air we breathe is to say that we need to commune with God or we will die..and if thats the case, communion with Him takes priority over anything and everything…..so if you have ever been to busy or have been to tired to get out of bed for morning devotions, guess what, you have just demonstrated that God’s preresence is not the air you breathe and therefore you are lying when you sing this song. This truth hits home for me, for I really like to sing and to worship. But sometimes I feel as if God stands before me and says, do you mean what you sing, to which I have to reply, no. God is not the air I breathe for if He was, I would seek him always without excuse. And as it turns out, I am always finding clever new excuses why I have not read or spend time with the most amazing person in the world. I too am a liar.
“But its just a song, God knows our heart” you may say. When has worship been just a song? If truly you can say that singing is “just a

A modern Western worship team leading a contem...

song” than its purpose has completetly escaped you. We sing as a act of worship, to offer unto the Lord something that is truly inside of us, or something that we are going through….Singing is one of the many forms of worship. We worship God with music, works, and offerings. May I reming you what happened to annanias when he brought money unto the Lord and lied about how much he actually brought to the disciples feet….He died. U could say thats just money, the same way you could say thats just a song, but a lie is a lie no matter where it is at.
May your worhsip be blameless always oh church. May your worhsip be blameless. If something, anything comes out from your lips…correction, our lips, let it be true. Whether in singing or in conversation, may it be true.

I love you all

Juan Castillo Jr.

The race (poem)


A grand ol race indeed I run
With you my good ol friend
The time has come and flown on by
Along this wishful bend
And Lo! You see the bump ahead
Let us make sure to jump
Cuz if we don’t were sure to fall
And hurt our clumsy lumps
You by my side I know we will
Together reach the line
But until then were running still
As moments pass us by
And look above the sky is clear
The birds sing merry tunes
It somehow knows the joy I feel
To run this race with you
And still ahead a wolf now waits
And hungry eyes it has
Great care oh friend we must now take
To run, escape his grasp
We run old friend, faster still
The creature now behind
We look ahead to the straight road
And wonder what we’ll find
The sun now seems to frown a bit
A tired face it makes
Not one of pain nor one of guilt
Just one that says “it’s late”
But glorious still the day has been
And glorious still will be
As bright and orange light above
Gives way to darkness glee
But still we run, the race, us two
Together through and through
For this race has kept us running long
And running against who?
The stars above lend us their shines
As the moon breaks out its smile
And running still, our legs feel pain
As we run another mile
And in the dark, the road is swift
And turns the smooth to rough
For now I wish to lie real still
We cannot stop we cannot stop
My strength is leaving and I start trailing
Yet you have urged me on
And now my strength completely failing
It shatters a great bond.
Within I feel the need to reach
And grab hold of your hand
But if I do, I know I will
bring you down into the sand
So I clench my fist, I hide my hand
I keep it far from thee
In hopes that you, a smart one be
Complete the race for me
Alone I find myself to be
In darkness silent touch
My strength is gone, my friend has run
And I have wished it such
But where oh where am I now found
A place so foreign, strange
I lost the race, why run again
I’ll stay here in this place
Yet lo a Traveler comes nearer to
The place where I now sit
A slow walk still, a patient thrill
Grabs hold and makes me fit
Be still, He says a calming voice
And one that’s free of hate
Grab hold He says, He extends His hand
And with Him I am raised
And strength I find to run once more
Though darkness still now tease
And thus I do forever more
Though running I can’t cease
And now my mind knows very well
To run in spite of pain
It cost my friend, it cost the day
But still I’ve much to gain
For He touched my heart and gave me strength
A touch I can’t deny
I run this race, not alone I guess
For He’s with me, by my side.

Juan Castillo Jr.