Logic is illogical

I think we give too much credit to logic; that small little voice inside our heads that says “things have to make sense”.  We look down on things that don’t make sense as we itch to uncover its secrets.  We mock people who act illogically because after all; illogical behavior just makes no sense.  We have seminars that teach the efficiency of logical thinking; in fact, we have whole universities who pride themselves in churning out logically thinking graduates. 

We vest so much energy into thinking, behaving, and experiencing that which is logical, yet we forget that life is not logical.  The very being of everything around us lacks logical thinking.  Think about it! We have flowers with an incredible array of colors.  Sure, you can argue that the colors are meant to attract insects and as such, bright colors are logical.  However, one question would still remain; why so many different colors?  I mean, can’t red attract bugs the same way yellow attract bugs?  Granted some are attracted to specific colors but for the most part most are attracted by bright colors, period; doesn’t matter the color.  Then why so many colors? 

Let’s go a step further and think about beauty and aesthetics.  Logically speaking, beauty makes no sense.  A car that’s ugly runs just as well as a car that looks good.  An ugly spouse performs just as well as a spouse that’s good looking.  An ugly house shelters just as well as a nice house.  Then, why is beautiful important?  It’s illogical, it makes no sense, yet we admire it, and we desperately search for it. 

Or what about taste? 

What possible logic could taste have?  Food is food.  You eat it and it gives you energy.  Why would anyone need food to taste good?  It’s illogical.  But, I can guarantee you that a good tasting burger is much more appealing than a bad tasting burger (or a tasteless burger for that matter). 

What’s my point? 

Simple really. 

Everything you do in life, doesn’t have to make sense. Stop holding back from doing something you want to do because it makes no sense. 

Who cares?

Do you want to do it? Then do it? So what if some people will look at you weird because your desire to pursue something “normal” people wouldn’t pursue. 

Who determines what’s normal anyways? Society?!  Well, as we can see every day, society is pretty screwed up…I would not rely on their definition of normality if I was you. 

If you ask me, not pursuing your illogical desire is illogical. 



A Road Less Traveled


What happens when you live for 32 years and you start to get glimpses that you were so wrong?  What happens when you stand on a platform that somehow has lost its footing?  You realize how much a fall can hurt.  You realize how much you can hurt.  

I have struggled with myself since I was seven.  I was mocked by many for being different, never given a chance to be free; or me.  Few people stopped to encourage me.  Even fewer showed me genuine love.  Thank God for the few that did.  Yet through all the mocking and the put downs, I stood.  

I grew up to be a young man; idealistic in many ways but hopeful in all of them.   It was here that I met the best person in my life.  Ironically; I could not and still can’t hear Him.  Yet there’s plenty of evidence to tell me that He’s real. 

So I continue on this little stroll through a gamut of 17 years.  Some of which were defined by moments which if described would make for a good late night movie (really late).  Yet, some moments were awesome, like the clear orange light of a bright day after a storm. Through it all, I struggled with me. 

Many times, I wanted so much to reach out and say “I need help” and sometimes I even did.  But as fate would have it.  You realize, you are pretty much alone.  Now, I’m in my 30’s feeling as if I have missed something somewhere.  

I think I missed the mark of my life.  And now I want to aim straighter but I don’t even know how to use a bow.  And what’s worst, I have no one to show me.  Thank God for YouTube.  

I think what it all boils down is simple (yet something I have much to learn off).  Many people hurt because they don’t understand this; the deep pain of walking through a life, alone, constantly being accused of being evil, of being cursed.  They don’t understand that hopelessness of coming to the realization that you can never love nor be loved like “normal” people.  But even fewer will ever understand the sheer hopelessness of being hated by all. 

On one camp you have the ones who hate you for your affections and on the other camp you have those who hate you for your love.  You try to make sense of it all, but you end up being even more confused.  Why isn’t this simple?  Why can’t this be a black and white issue as well? 

Why do I have these affections, and why don’t I love the person I see in the mirror?  Why can’t anyone tell me if that person is worth anything? And why can’t I be given the opportunity to walk through these questions with someone? 

But I’m a man now.  Though, these questions are still there, I don’t have the luxury to entertain them.  No, I must go.  I must trust the fact that Someone knows what He has planned for me.  I must also trust the fact that He does love me.  I can’t let the ignorance of those who profess to be victims hold me.  In truth, they will never love me.  Yet on the other hand, I can’t let the dogmatic nature of those who profess righteousness, bind my questioning, wandering, highly inquisitive mind. 

I walk my own path, dealing with the burden of two worlds.  I walk my own path and that is who I am.