Donald Trump, You Will Not Have My Vote

Politics is scary and it’s rare for me to be in this position. I tend to not be too vocal about my political views. However, this election is different.

At first I thought it was a joke. Donald Trump running for president? What kind of popularity/media antic was this? Surely no one would ever think of taking this guy seriously? After all, his off color tweets, crazy media rants, financial woes, etc more than show his inability to lead a country. Anybody can see that…but boy was I wrong.

As I sit here and write, Trump has won the South Carolina Primary by an overwhelming 32.5%. He’s also won New Hampshire and Nevada. What I previously thought was laughable, has now become a source of concern. This is a candidate that wants people like me out of this country.  This is a candidate that hesitates to denounce a confirmed white supremist activist. This is a candidate that belittles women and minorities. And that’s not even the worst part…not by a long shot.

What saddens me even more is to see the evangelical group seemingly in full support of this man. What I once hoped was a cynical view of religious people has now be proven to be a correct view after all. The church does not care about the world, people, caring for the sick, the poor, the needy.  They don’t care about preaching the gospel, following Christ…none of that.  The church has become a lip service, a figure head of something that is nice and that every good person should try to do. But when it comes to standing up against injustice and those who practice it, nah, that’s too fanatical.

Donald Trump (among many things) has advocated against the poor, the needy, the hard working. He also dares to claim to be a Christian, a follower of Christ, who according to his own words is not in need of forgiveness.  Wait…what? Isn’t that the whole point? That we are sinners and need forgiveness?

I’ve been told by some of my friends that they rather vote for him than “a socialist” or God forbid, someone like Hilary Clinton.  But is Fascism better than Socialism? In order to not vote for a socialist, you rather vote for a fascist?

I cannot be silent anymore. This man, Donald Trump, is not someone a Christian should be voting for. He reflects everything Christ has denounced! His actions are prideful, arrogant, rapacious, reckless, and so much more.  Scripture tells us that a wise man rules over his tongue and is slow to anger but Donald Trump has shown otherwise. How can a person rule a nation and yet fail to rule himself?

As I sit in and pray, I can’t in good faith say that I am voting for someone who is godly, honorable, and righteous. Of course, you could argue that no politician is like this. I might even agree with you.  However, if there was ever a display of a lack of decency, morality, conviction, wisdom, compassion, mercy, truth, and anything that is Godly, is here and now in Donald Trump.

I may not know exactly who will have my vote…but I do know exactly who won’t. And that person is emphatically, without question, and certain with every single fiber of my being, Donald Trump.


Two Friends Gone, Twice The Grief

Everyone deals with grief differently and not all griefs are the same.
Two of my most beloved friends have died. One last year (Brian), and another last week (Lee) and I’ve reacted to both deaths differently. The aching void is the same but the uncontrollable sadness is different.
With Brian, my world was thrown for a loop. Brian was a long-time friend who, for a few reasons, had grown distant. About two years ago, we began the process of repairing our friendship. However, one abrupt evening, I got a text from his boyfriend.
Brian was dead.
Brian was suffering from pneumonia and was at the hospital. Due to health complications, doctors had to perform heart surgery.
He didn’t make it.
One of the last texts I got from him was an “I love you”.
The news was a horrid shock and completely unexpected. Sure, with operations there is always a risk of something bad happening, but Brian was athletic and fit. All indications pointed towards a successful procedure.
I lost a big part of my life that day and even to this day I haven’t fully recovered. I still think about the little quirks he used to do. I laugh at the memory and tear up at the realization that that memory can’t and won’t ever be repeated.
Brian is gone.
But just when you think you’re emotions are stable, strong, and recovered. Life decides it’s time for even more loss. This time, the void would come from the absence of Lee-my ex and one of my best friends.
Like Brian, Lee was also in the hospital. Also like Brian, Lee needed surgery for similar respiratory issues. But unlike Brian, doctors couldn’t operate on Lee. The doctors didn’t know if Lee’s liver could handle the procedure. So much for being cautious.
I got a text from Lee’s boyfriend Saturday evening.
Lee was dead.
I spent the morning crying and trying to hide the wailing sounds from my hosts’ ears. See I was in El Salvador and I was staying in the house of a dear friend of mine. I didn’t want to wake them up.
But oh how my heart ached!
After Lee and I broke up, I was worried that he would do something drastic and crazy. It was not an easy break up for neither of us, but I think it was harder for Lee.
But as fortune would have it, Lee eventually made new friends in his new home state of Texas. His job would also promote him and he would even come to fall in love with a great man. Everything looked great for Lee and I couldn’t be happier for him.
As Lee continued with his life and school and work took over mine, we would eventually distance ourselves from each other, but still keep in contact via texts and Facebook.
Lee was a joy to me.
His loss has opened a deep wound. The nasty wound of grief. But this wound feels different. Brian’s loss was raw and “in your face”. Lee’s wound has been relatively quiet. In fact, I’ve been able to smile and even talk coherently about the event.
Is it because I don’t love him? No. Nothing could be further from the truth. I adored Lee as a friend. He was a gigantic part of my life, there’s no way I could not love him.
Maybe it’s because I’m used to the grief of loss? Again I don’t think so. I still feel the sense of loss as such I’m still grieving. Besides, I don’t think you can really ever get used to grief.
So what is it?
When I read the text concerning Lee’s passing I understood the information. And though I cried and mourned, my mind apparently has not fully accepted that he is indeed gone. I noticed this when I received a message from Lee’s Facebook account. His partner accidentally sent me a message while he was logged into Lee’s account. I saw it, and somehow I was not entirely surprised until I stopped and purposefully thought about Lee’s death.
For some reason, my mind is refusing to believe that he is gone.
Logically I can see it.
I’ve read enough about the grieving process to know where I am at. And in a selfish way, it has helped me to enjoy my trip to El Salvador. But I know what’s probably going to happen. My mind is going to finally realize the truth. And all this sadness, grief, anger, and pain that I have been holding back so far, will rush out.
That’s not good.
There are many who have asked me “how are you doing?” A question that I politely answer with “I’m good” or “I’m hanging in there”.
It’s not a lie…per se.
For all intents and purposes, I am good. Moreover, indeed, I am hanging in there. But as all that goes up, must come down; I know I will have to deal with this soon.
The truth is Lee is gone and no amount of tears can bring him back. In spite of this, I have to cry.
I also need to tell my mind, that memories, though now impossible to recreate, are memories that were real and that are beautiful.
And one day, after this gash has closed. I will be able to remember his smile, his heart, his jokes, and his mannerism. Soon enough, I will smile at the happy memories, and tear up for his loss, and I’ll be ok.

Refugees Are Human Beings! Have We Forgotten? Every Christian Should See This

Recently our world has witnessed a travesty, and a complete failure of humanity in the form of the refugee crisis.  Sadly, the events of these past weeks have revealed much about our world and how we value life. People have been persecuted, left without homes, lives destroyed in a blink of an eye. But their cries for help has been received with mixed reactions the most startling of which come from Christians. Those who are supposed to stand up for the weak and champion the cause of the broken. Those who carry the name of Christ and are supposed to be like Him. But some of these very same people are shouting with a very clear message: “Keep the refugees away”. To these Christians I offer this video.

Death To The Gays: Kevin Swanson and a sick proposal.

In a GOP event, Kevin Swanson proposed we ought to receive a view of the Bible that calls for the death of homosexuals. This “Christian” pastor clearly does not understand what the sacrifice of Christ is all about and his hateful rhetoric needs to be denounced. I’m not a political person (as you guys probably know by now), but a person does not have to be political to stand up against hate.  It’s time that the church starts speaking against these false teachers. It’s long past due. Feel free to check out my video entitled “Death To The Gays: Kevin Swanson and a sick proposal


YouTube Here I Come!!!

It is finally here!

The day when I have finally decided to step out and do something that for the most part freaks me out and yet completely excites me.

I have started my own YouTube channel!

Though currently small, my goal is to grow it to 500 subscribers by the end of this month.  Feels like a daunting task but I’m confident it can be done.

So what is this channel all about?  Similar to what this blog has been all about really, recording struggles and successes as honestly as possible. I want to offer the world (or whoever subscribes) a perspective that is a bit rare in my opinion and seldom presented in a loving manner. I want to tell the world how it is for a gay Christian.

But that’s not the end of the story.

I am my Father’s child, and I am much more than just religious dogma or a sexual orientation.  I have other interests and passions that make me who I am, that make me extremely valuable.  I think that’s the point of my new Vlog/YouTube channel.  To have an open window into the life of a gay Christian while at the same time showing that there’s more to life, to a person, to me, than gay Christianity.

Through this channel I want an open dialogue with the Church, to hopefully give them a view of the heart and struggles of someone like me.  I also want this to be an open dialogue with the gay community so that they too can see the struggles of someone like me.  Because in the battle of discrimination between religious groups and homosexuals, few are discriminated more than those who profess to belong to both.

SO, I ask you, my blogging friends, would you consider joining me on YouTube?  Would you consider helping me spread the word or at least consider joining my channel and being part of a community that will hopefully be an awesome source for good?

I hope you consider doing so. I know it would make me extremely happy!

On a related note, I will start blogging again.  But I am considering moving platforms from to  I feel it enables to be more flexible with what I can and cannot do (attach videos to blog posts for example).

However, I won’t be blogging as frequent as I used to (maybe once a week) but I will be blogging more than I have been.

With that said, I want to say thank you.  Blogging was a necessary form of expression for me at a time when I was learning and evaluating a lot of things.  This blog and your comments and interactions have been a huge source of comfort for me, much more than I could readily describe.

So thank you my blogging friends.

Onward to what’s next.  Onward we go.


Ps: Click here to check out the YouTube Channel.

Perfect truth or perfect love

It has been my experience that most employers want an employee with a strong desire to perform their job rather than a strong set of skills. Don’t get me wrong, skills are needed and are important. However, when you are considering hiring one out of two employees; one has weaker skills but an obvious predisposition for learning, being a team player, and having a drive to excel (soft skills); while the other excels in the skill department but tends to lack the soft skills of the latter; most will choose the employee lacking in skills.
It’s always easier to teach technical skills (writing, calculating, designing) than to teach soft skills (communication, interpersonal skills, teamwork). In the world it seems like the heart (soft skills) is more desirable than the knowledge (hard skills).

It’s a lesson that anyone who is seeking a job would do well to keep in mind but it’s also a lesson that needs to be learned by many Christians.

What do I mean?

In 1 Corinthians 13 we come across what is known as the love chapter. In it, scripture tells us that love is above most things (if not all things). “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong… if I have the gift of prophecy…all mysteries…all knowledge…faith that can move mountains…but do not have love, I am nothing” Clearly, scripture values love more than the abilities that many may or may not possess.

Why is this important?

I have come across many Christians who lose sight of the fact that love is indeed above all…even theology. DO NOT MISREAD THIS. I am not saying theology is not important. But when Christians do actions that do not show towards another group of people because this other group of people somehow does not adhere to their theological beliefs, it’s unbiblical. There is no justification for not loving, period.

Why do so many Christians devote so much of their time to acquiring knowledge and fine tuning their theology and yet spend so little time reaching out to people who need to be loved. To me, this is not the gospel.

Churches have split because of theology. People have been persecuted. I feel like those who are the loudest at proclaiming the theological inaccuracies of movies, songs and books are seldom heard proclaiming their love for their fellow man. Those that are vocal about creating laws that prohibit what another group of people can and can’t do are seldom seen ministering to broken bodies, broken spirits, and broken hearts.

When did we get this simple truth backwards?

Will a day come when those who hide under the banner of Christ finally start acting like him?

The world has turned it’s heel against Christ and I can’t say that Christians are not to blame. As a body we need to step back and re-evaluate our goals and our mission. Christ does the redeeming, Christ does the outreach (If I be lifted up, I will draw all men unto me), but what he can’t do (and what we must do) is hug someone, care for someone, minister to someone.
He loves us.
He loves them.
And we are to be that window through which those who are searching can finally see.

“Christ equips the called”, I hear this often. Nevertheless what I don’t see often is it being practiced. If we are so convinced that Christ will “equip” those whom He calls, why are we so worried about what those who don’t yet belong to Him do. How can they do anything else when they have not been “equipped”. That’s like an employer yelling at an employee who does not work for his company!

In the same way companies tend to value soft skills more than hard skills (or at least give it about equal value), so we should value soft skills (Love). Skills are nothing if they are not backed by a strong desire to put them into action, so is theology nothing if it’s not backed by love.

Remember, “Knowledge puffs up while love builds up” – I Corinthians 8:1.
Don’t forsake theology, but choose love and make love the definition of anything and everything you do.

(PS. As I write this, I realize this is something I too must take to heart).


I Ran Naked Today

I decided to run naked today. Sadly, it wasn’t a pretty sight.
No I wasn’t naked in the literal sense, more of the emotional sense.

It’s the end of summer, school is about to start in about two weeks and people are graduating. That’s the problem with a college town…people graduate.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for the fact that young, eager lads and lasses pick up their mantle of completion as they dare to spread their wings and fly in the face of an uncertain world. Until, of course that flying takes them far away from new friendships or ones that have had the opportunity to develop over time.

Today I ran naked, but not because I took my clothes off and decided to grace my small town with a free showing to the “please-put-your-clothes-back-on” hour. No, I ran naked because one of my best friends graduated. And as happy as I am for him, I can’t help but to feel a selfishness creep up in me.

I already miss him.

We met when he and I took an acting class during college. Back then I was studying to finish my architecture degree while he was studying to conquer the discipline of …. Hmmm, come to think of it…what was he studying…

It was friendship at first sight.

We somehow ended up going to the same University. The plan was for us to graduate together. But he beat me to the finish line…

I didn’t realize how much I’d miss him

See that’s the problem with small towns like Gainesville. You develop strong relationships only to lose them to the inevitable destiny of graduation. Few stay behind.

I know that our friendship transcends land and sea and whatever else dares create distance between him and I but… proximity has its virtues…and I happen to like them.

I ran naked today because today was one of those rare moments, where my heart had to hide but couldn’t. With every box stored, and every furniture loaded I found myself dreading the incoming goodbye. As I sat on the clothed chair next to the transparent table all I could think about was how to say goodbye.

It’s what I thought about when we had lunch.

It’s what I thought about as I got out of the car desperately trying not to cry as my hands waved goodbye….I didn’t. I was proud of myself.

That is of course until I reached my apartment…Phew, good thing there are no cameras up in here.

I am exceedingly proud of my friend. As he walked across that stage when they called out his name, I could not scream loud enough. I am honored to know him.

And now, I am left with this thought: I may have run naked today. But I know I won’t run alone, No matter how far you go. I won’t run alone…and neither will you.

Silence (poem)

Warning: Before you read this poem know that it has some strong language. However, I think the language was necessary to convey the overall meaning.


Silent I sit as the world passes by
Silence. You Jerk! You can piss off and die
I’ve harbored your mess and believed all the lies
You bastard! I’m done. And don’t think I will cry

Silent I stand as my mind stirs and flies
Silence. You ass! Would you leave? Do you mind?
I’m trying to think, and I’m trying to pry
You’re loud. I’m done and breaking all ties

Silent I watch the sun set the skies
Silence. You’re done and don’t dare ask me why
You see all this mess yet you think I will find
You whore! You’ve bed me for the very last time

Silent I sit as silence is mine
Silence now waits as his arms reaches mine
His grip is so firm. My soul can’t deny
Silent I lay in a silent goodbye

If It Ever Was (Poem)

If it mattered it would be unfair

To unveil the winds and tie what’s there

Grasping what’s disguised as air

Lamenting and running bare


If there was worth it could be unjust

Erect a wall in swamps of dust

But loneliness a grasp of must

And games to spin yet not to cusp


If there was truth it could be wrong

In silence sing a distant song

Confused to where and why belong

And never find a truthful bond


If it was so it might be harsh

A glimpse of hope to drown and parch

Where beauty reigned reveal the farce

Resign the dance and halt the march


If it was true I might just dare

To run with gold but show no care

And spin a top a dark world’s stare

Yet burn with all that once was fair


Juan Castillo Jr.

What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality: Sodom and Gomorrah

Before I begin this post, I want to inform you that my intent is NOT to convince you of anything (say what?), yes that’s right.  I am not under some delusion as to my literary prowess’ ability to convince anyone of anything.  Nevertheless, what I do hope happens is that genuine curiosity takes hold.  I pray that this information gives you a spring board from which you, the concerned reader, will do further research. 

There is a reason why scripture instructs us to “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth” – 2 Tim 2:15. And as I write this I finally have no shame of who I am, for I have divided and been dividing God’s word on this issue and finally see the truth.  So let’s begin, because I am completely excited to share with you truth.  A truth that I hope will set you free to love yourself, and to love others who long for such affection.

Now there are 7 places in scripture that refer to homosexual acts

  • 2 refer to rape (Genesis 19:1-11Judges 19:22)
  • 1 refers to prostitution and pederasty (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)
  • 4 are nonspecific (Leviticus 18:21-22Leviticus 20:13Romans 1:26-271 Timothy 1:8-10)

I will begin by sharing some truths concerning these passages and this week I’ll start in Genesis 19 and to some extent, judges 19:22.

GENESIS 19:1-11

In Genesis we find an interesting story to say the least (Genesis 19:1-11).  You can read this on your own, but I will give you a paraphrase of the story.  Lot, Abraham’s nephew is staying in sodom when he is visited by angels whom Lot treats as guests. However, men from the city come to Lots house, demanding that he give over the guests so that they (the men in Sodom) may “know” or have sex with them.  Lot refuses to hand the angels over because they are his guests.  

A similar story can be found in judges 19:16-30.  

Some claim that this is a clear representation of the homosexual sin of Sodom. And to be fair, the men of the town did want to have sex with the male guests.  A cursory reading could give you the impression that this story is truly about homosexuality and that the outcome of Sodom was a direct result of such action.  However, most scholars agree that the issue in this story is not homosexuality but rather that hospitality and justice were not being practiced. The blatant proof of this is found in Ezekiel 16:49 where it states “Now this is the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed, and unconcerned, they did not help the poor and needy.  They were haughty and did detestable things before me.  Therefore I did away with them as you have seen.” – Ez 16:49.  It’s important to highlight that nowhere in this passage is the sin of homosexuality mentioned or even alluded to.  Rather; arrogance, gluttony (overfed), apathy (unconcerned), discrimination against the poor and needy, pride (which we all know how much God hates) and detestable things.  If homosexuality was the real issue here, it would have been stated plainly.  But as it stands, it’s no where to be found in the passage that clearly outlines why God destroyed Sodom.

But wait, in Jude 1:7 we read “In a similar way, Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion…” Indeed we do read this.  However, in spite of the fact that some will argue that this is a clear reference to homosexuality in Sodom and Gomorrah, scholars contest this claim. This verse talks about sexual perversion as a whole and in biblical times, there were many forms of sexual perversions.  It’s irresponsible to tack on homosexuality to a verse that does not specifically refer to it.  And to be clear, rape (which is what would have transpired in Sodom if the town men would have gotten a hold of the angels) is just as perverse and immoral (if not more) as sex outside of marriage, or prostitution, or temple sex worship, etc.  

So what exactly is going on?

When you look at the context of the jewish custom of hospitality you get a better account as to what exactly is going on in this Genesis story. 

In ancient Israel, hospitality was a moral institution which grew out of the harsh desert and nomadic existence led by the people of Israel. It’s difficult for us to picture this but the Jews took hospitality seriously…very seriously.  Biblical law specifically sanctified hospitality toward the stranger “for you were strangers in a strange land” (Lev. 19:34 and see Ex. 12:49), moreover, foreign travelers, although not protected by the law (Deut. 15:3; 23:21), could count on the Jewish custom of hospitality.  

We see this hospitality taking place in many places throughout the old testament, for example: Abraham and the three men of Mamre, (Gen 18). In Gen. 24:28-32 we see Laban eager to welcome Abraham’s servant while Rebekah tended the camels. In Judges 13:15, Manoah di not allow the angel to depart before partaking in hospitably.  But perhaps the most extreme case of this hospitality is found judges 19:16-30 where we find the old man of Gibeah, prepared to sacrifice the honor of his daughters in order to protect his guests (who were to him complete strangers).  Does the account of judges 19:16-30 sound familiar?  It should, because it’s the same scenario happening in Genesis 19:1-11.  Which points to the fact that there is more going on in this Genesis account than just male to male sexual actions.  The issue in Genesis 19 is one of injustice, inhospitably, rape, and a particular outrageous disrespectful affront not only to Lot’s guests but also to his culture and his beliefs.  

I hope this gives you something to chew on. Again, feel free to disagree or agree, but ultimately search for yourselves.  And tune in next week for a discussion on 1 corinthians 6:9-10.