Tips For Working From Home

My home office…it’s where the magic happens. 

Working from home sounds great…until you have to do it on a consistent basis. The fact of the matter is that working from home has a different set of advantages and disadvantages that some people may find difficult to navigate while trying to be productive.  

I worked from home for five years in a demanding field with strict deadlines and challenging goals. This work from home period prepared me for what most of us are facing now – COVID-19 quarantine. So I wanted to take this opportunity to share with you some of the lessons I have learned in my five years of working from home and how I was able to remain productive.  

Specify a Work Space 

You need to set aside a specific work environment in your home. Ideally, this could be a spare room where you can have a desk, a computer, and a door. The door acts as a partition to help your mind transition from “being at home” mode to “work” mode. Once you cross the door threshold, you tell your mind “I’m here to work”.  It also gives you the ability to shut the door so that other family members know you are working and not to disturb you (unless that family member is your puppy…they should always be allowed to disturb you, lol). 

If you don’t have a spare bedroom, any area that you can designate as a workspace will do. The only caveat to this, try to keep the work area away from your bedroom. There’s a lot of reasons for this but it boils down to training your mind to disassociate work and life (more on this later). If you work from your bedroom, your mind will find it hard to associate your bedroom as a place of rest which research shows can even affect your ability to sleep.  

Create a Checklist of Needed Accomplishments  

One of the hardest things about working from home is what I call “Mental Meandering”. You know you have things to do, and you may even know how to do them…you just don’t know where to start. Start by creating a checklist of things to do. This will give you a strict guide that will help mitigate your tendency to allow your mind to meander while it tries to figure out what to do next. You can waste so much time trying to determine the next thing to do.  Make your checklist at the end of your workday. Set aside 10 to 15 minutes and during that time identify goals for the next day. Also, take the time to arrange these tasks in order of priority. For example, if something has a deadline or is time sensitive, put these at the top of your to-do checklist. Consider printing the list and placing it in a location where you can easily see it.  

Power Work Sessions 

Things become easier to do when you brake them up into manageable pieces. It’s similar with work. Working from home can seem like a monolithic work period where your full 8+ hours are due collectively. This can be different in an office environment because events such as flash meetings, impromptu conversations with co-workers, sudden events, etc. can help break the monotonous integrity of the work block.  

Manage your home working hours by breaking them into Power Work Sessions. Set aside two hours where your focus will ONLY be on work-related items. Remove all distractions and do not allow yourself to dwell on anything other than what is required of you from work. It helps if you set a timer for two hours (yes, seriously). After those two hours have passed take the next 15 minutes to not think about work. Do not even look at your computer (yes, seriously). Go outside, read a book, take a power nap, do anything that will unwind your mind. After those 15 minutes are up, begin your next two hour period. Then give yourself lunch (for an hour). After lunch, repeat the process.  

Power Sessions are most effective when paired with your checklist. Try to accomplish one to three of the goals you’ve outlined on your checklist within one power session. Of course, this depends on the complexity of the goal(s). If you have a combination of fairly simple goals, maybe you can shoot for the completion of five or more goals within a power session. However, if it’s a goal that will require your utmost attention and is highly complex, maybe one power session for that goal is needed….maybe two.  

You can play around with the times. Some people like to do three-hour sessions with 30 minutes rests. Some like to break up the sessions into one hour. Personally, I’ve found that two hours gives me enough time to get goals accomplished while not completely burning me out. But you do what works for you.  

Manageable Goals 

When setting goals for the day it’s important to make them realistic and manageable. If you notice that a certain goal is complex and is comprised of many parts, it will be easier for you to break this goal into a series of manageable goals that you can accomplish throughout the day. It’s not realistic to have the completion of a complex task as one of your goals on the checklist. The goal will become daunting to act as one goal amongst many others that you hope to complete in one day. By breaking large complex goals into smaller more manageable goals you allow yourself the ability to better manage daunting tasks which will enable you to stay motivated and productive.  

TIP: If you know you are going to have a large complex goal, set aside one workday to complete it. This will free up other days for less complex and routine goals.  

Human Interaction 

Working from home reduces your ability to come into contact with people. Some of you may think you’ll enjoy this, and for a short while you just might. However, humans are designed to be in a community. We need people. Some of us need more human interaction than others but at some point, we all need to interact with each other. Do not underestimate the need for human interaction. One of the hardest parts of working from home for me was the lack of human interaction. This is a surprising statement given the fact that I’m an introvert. After an extended period of working from home, I found that my ability to relate to people was diminishing. It was becoming harder to think of complex solutions while introducing a human variable. This is crucial because most of what we do (no matter what we do) involves some type of service for people.   

However, more than just an understanding of how our products meet the needs of people, research has shown that we require a certain amount of human interaction in order to be healthy. It helps not just our minds but our physical well being as well. So be sure to incorporate some level of human interaction in your working from home routine (not during power sessions unless the power session involves the completion of a meeting). During your 15 minute breaks, consider zooming a friend or interact with some of your family members. Of course, our current COVID-19 situation makes it unadvisable to go out and interact with people outside your home. Nevertheless, use tools such as Zoom and Office Team to engage with someone else other than yourself. It’s important.  

NOTE: Facebook does not count. You need real-time facial social interaction. 

Move 

It’s tempting to become sedentary while working from home. Gone are the opportunities to walk down the hall to ask a question of a co-worker. Gone are the necessary visits to a project that needs your analysis. Gone are customers who demand a meeting you with in another location thus forcing you to move out of your office. Working from home can be a sedentary death trap. Research shows that one of the worst things we can do for our health is to sit down for extended amounts of time. Do not let yourself become sedentary. Use your 15-minute breaks to move and walk around. You can also incorporate things like sitting on a stability ball, or typing while standing. Anything to keep you from sitting or not moving for longer than two hours! This will help your energy levels and will help keep you healthy.  

Establish Work/Home Balance 

This last point is huge! However, it’s at the end of this list because it’s something that encompasses everything I have just mentioned. DO NOT (and I repeat) DO NOT blend your work and your life. When you enter into your work space…work. However, when your work day is over, and you exit your work space….do not go back in. Do not bring your laptop to the living room. If something was not completed, add it to the goals for the next day and move on. If you are tempted to check your work e-mail…don’t. It’s not healthy to integrate work with your complete day. There needs to be a distinct boundary between work time and YOU time. This will protect YOU from burnout and will allow you to rest. Consequently, this will make you more productive and will allow you to push harder towards meeting your goals effectively and to the best of your abilities.  

The problem with not distinctly separating work and life is that you fail to tell your mind to “shut off”. As a result, you allow yourself to be in some level of work mode consistently, even if you don’t realize it. It’s like a battery that is slowly drained by a small electrical source that you just can’t find. Eventually, the battery is going to run out of juice. DON’T RUN OUT OF JUICE! Take care of yourself. Rest. Enjoy your family, your puppy, your hobby. Then, when it’s time to work, you’ll be ready, alert, and able.  

This list is by no means exhaustive but detail some of the things that have helped me be productive while working from home.  

Stay safe, and here’s to one day hugging without the fear of putting people in danger.  

 

 

He

The mourning finds a scattered soul and a present hurt

Clouds run to hide the warmth of the sky with a monstrous vengeance

Roses bloom extending venomous cleaves and a lack of hospitality

Sounds of haunting calls beckon, summoning the duality of hope and hopelessness

Still the bleeding reaches

The hand vulnerably opens and finds no rest

Gaze falls and the verdant world becomes uncertain behind the curtain of sailin

To walk is full of cruelty

To stop is full of pain

The beaten road opens

Revealing the mirage that’s joy

Walking tethered to the pages of doubts

Burdened by that which is true

The traveler now climbs and sees

Only to find he’s blind

The sweet essence of gardenias entoxicates the senses and chokes the emotions

The sight below, a sea of those longed for

A sea of the indifferent

The journey ensues on the road built with gold and tears

Feet bleeding from the jagged cobblestones

A heart broken from the distant goal

longing to mend itself it searches for hidden relief

A smooth stream of comforting air greets the seeker as the road bends

Pain

Peering through the quagmire of self

The burdened sees the figure

Tall, dark, and full of promise

Desperation swells as the hands hold fast

The linen heavy with cries drags the lost

Away from the path

Away

A monstrous black swirls below

The edge, slippery with regret

The faceless one stares

Piercing, comforting

A step forward, one step to go

The eyes refuse to see

The ears hide from sounds

The tongue forgets what’s sweet

The skin retreats in slumber

The everything cowers at nothing

And nothing consumes all

But in the bowels of the obscure

Deep within the center of never ending

All stops

Silence steps into its throne

Clarity is allowed to speak

A whisper sings

He remembers

His sight now clear his feet now stop

He hears his name

He sees the caller

He remembers

He sees the road before him

Sanity

Weighted chords fall

Harmony is lifted

Wants retreats

Needs presses forward

Migrant colors find homes

Fear’s fight is lost

He remembers

He is seen

He is sought

He is he

He was never who he thought

He was always who he was

The morning finds the wanderer

The wanderer finds He

Short Story: Person in the Mirror

I stared at the mirror this morning but didn’t recognize who was staring back at me. The features were the same; the nose, mouth, eyes, everything was familiar, yet the person I was staring at was foreign to me.

“Who is this stranger”, I thought to myself as my dog nudged my side and the vanity faucet hydrated my battered sink.

I shut the faucet off and slowly turned away from the mirror. I know that person is me, at least that’s what my mind told me. But my heart was not convinced…apparently.

The image of the face I saw haunted me as I poured food onto my dog’s bowl, as I finished brewing coffee, as I slipped out the door and unto my car, as I sat in my office’s chair, as 5 O’clock magically turned into 5:15, and now as I stare at my home computer’s screen I realize it continues to haunt me.

I’ve seen the face in the mirror before and yet I have not.

Why?

The question plagues me.

If I think about it logically, I can come up with all sorts of explanations. And I do.

I allow my mind to wander through the quagmire of reason and observations. Yet, no matter how hard I think, analyze, theorize, test, explain, rationalize, it’s no use. Nothing sticks. My being finds no resonance in my mental monologues.

I’m tired.

I slip out of my chair and commence a melancholic shuffle to the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator I stare at a wide array of food options and realize, I have nothing to eat.

I close the cooling contraption and find the setting sun peaking through my backyard trees and peering through my window.

It’s late.

But, is it too late for the person in the mirror? Was he happy or was he sad? Was he strong or was he weak? Hungry maybe? And why was he peering at me with such hopelessness?

Out of the corner of my eye I notice an innocent soul staring back at me. Cognitively, I know he wants food…my food. Who am I kidding, our food.

I stoop low so that I can squeeze his neck. He stinks. I find that oddly comforting.

As I stand and make my way towards the oversized bag of dog food tucked away in my spare bedroom, I realize my face is wet. Have I been crying? I didn’t even notice. I blame the person in the mirror.

Who’s that person anyway?

We’re lifting up the wrong thing

I see and hear Christians all over the internet, my city, and even the nation; lamenting at our current moral state. They’re quick to point out the selfishness, greed, and overall godlessness that seem to be all but normal.

True, morality seems to be at an all-time decline. Nevertheless, what worries me is not so much the faithful acknowledgement of a religious group that journeys under a banner of a contorted image of Christ.

No not that.

Rather, is the disconnect between the state of humanity and the cause. The fact that the moral decay that these Christians are so keen to point is primarily their fault. Rather, our fault.

Christianity today has been more preoccupied with the elevation of personal rights, morally bankrupt leaders, and a self-righteous agenda; rather than lifting up Christ.

For He says: “If I be lifted up, I will draw all men unto me” (John 12:32). It’s quite simple really.

The world was looking for something genuine. We had the opportunity to lift up Christ, but instead we lifted abortion rights, immigration, Donald Trump (still lifting him…sadly), anti LGBT rhetoric, hate, fear, political parties, etc.

In a world that is desperately crying for genuine Love, we chose to hide him, and we’re still hiding him…. because our ego is more important. Our beliefs are more important. We are more important.

We forget the mercy of Christ. How he died for the thief on the Cross as well as the widow, as the orphan, as the vilest of sinners.

We forget that Christ’s primary concern is his Church. To reach the lost and to bring them into the Kingdom.

“But what about righteousness”! some scream. Forgetting that we are not purchased by what we do but by what Christ did.

I genuinely can’t help but Cry. There was once upon a time where I held onto such naïve belief, certain that my faith was full of believers that believed in Christ.

Maturity is a beast.

I now see it’s really smokes and mirrors. Not Christ mind you, but the Church.

Does this offend you church member? Then that’s the first red flag. For offences comes from pride.

If you are reading something like this and are not stopping to ponder whether you might fall into the applicability of these words, you are exactly who I am talking to.

Then again, you probably don’t care. It’s not like you are trying to lift Christ up or anything resembling such spirit filled venture.

Sweat The Small Stuff

It’s hard to believe that it’s been almost a year of dealing with this pandemic. We’ve lost friends, family, loved ones, and yet we’ve had to be strong. Very strong.

It has not been easy.

The stress of uncertainty, the angst of a tumultuous time, the battle against the despair of seeing everything change knowing things will never be the same again. It all works together to collectively test us. Like a furnace tests gold, it seems this crucible is refining us.

It’s a painful process.

Yet in the quagmire of a dynamic heartless landscape, it’s often the tiniest sparks that shine the brightest.

When your thoughts swirl with self loathing at your perceived insufficiencies, it’s the small tender reminder of a friend that can help lift you up.

When your heart leads you through a dark alley, it may be the smallest of smiles that can brighten your path.

When you fall in exhaustion and you simply can’t take another step, it’s the pat on the back that convinces you otherwise.

Sweat the small stuff.

In a time where a hug is unheard of and desperately needed, smile often.

Where masks may inhibit that facial expression, text often.

Seek to let others know that they matter to you, regardless of how you feel they may take it. Regardless of sounding clingy or needy or whatever. Let people know you care.

But also, don’t forget to look in the mirror and care for yourself. There is no one like you, and this world needs you. It needs you to smile at others and to smile at yourself.

It needs you to be who you want to be, who you know you are.

And if by chance you think you don’t know who you are, well…what a wonderful journey of discovery awaits you! Let’s take it together!

Sweat the small stuff.

Most of us can’t handle big things right now. Nor are we expected to. Take small steps.

Small.

Enjoy every opportunity to be near the people that make you happy. After all, what else is there? Money? Fame? Power?

Heh.

Give me an evening shooting the breeze and talking about weird stuff with a group of friends any time.

Sweat the small stuff.

Right now, it’s all we have.

Why I Feel So Vulnerable Under Trump and His Administration

A result from a Facebook conversation, I decided to make a video on why I currently feel so vulnerable under this administration.

A Faith Rocked But Not Destroyed

There have been two times in my life where I feel my faith has been the most vulnerable. Twice where I felt that my faith had endured an atomic attack.

The first time happened when I was in my 20s. A beloved pastor and mentor whom I had respected and loved, fell to infidelity. This may not sound like much to some, but to a relatively new Christian, a pastor was someone almost above reproach. You certainly did not expect infidelity to be a struggle for them. At least it wasn’t in my mind. But there it was.

The day my pastor announced the news and asked the church for forgiveness was one of the most emotionally confusing days of my life. I loved my pastor. And of course, I forgave him. But, if he (who was such a godly man) struggled and fell, what hope did I have?

Shortly thereafter I came out as a gay man and the church that I had grown to love kicked me out of the congregation. It truly was a dark and rebellious time for me.

Years later, I came back to the Lord and renewed my walk with Him. Eventually, I  accepted who He made me be.

Christians were not happy.

But then it happened again.

This time, it wasn’t a pastor but rather the Christian community that delivered the groundbreaking blow.

As I witnessed a man who lacked any sense of morality take a stand to run for the presidency of a “Christian nation”, I laughed.

Surely this is a joke. This man just wanted publicity.

But then I saw people rallying behind him.

And those people were “Christians”.

And then this man became the president.

I struggled like I had not struggled ever since that day in that Baptist church. My emotions were laid bare as I witnessed people who had condemned immorality in any form, cast their lots on a man who had no resemblance to anything described as a good leader. Rather this man was prideful, arrogant, sexually immoral, a liar, and the list just went on.

As a person who has been the victim of an untold amount of accusations and doubts concerning my salvation because of my sexual orientation, it blows my mind that these same people can so easily support a man that has blatantly and unequivocally done what the Lord says is wrong.

So, I struggled.

For a while, I was angry because I felt betrayed.

I was angry because I felt so lost…again.

It’s been a year now and I’m not angry, though I have not stepped inside a church.

I don’t think I ever will.

But that does not mean that I have lost my faith. The irony is that in some ways my faith is stronger.

In the midst of everything that has happened, the Lord, I feel, has shown me that people are people. It doesn’t matter what label they brand themselves with or what they look like. At the end of it all, people are people. We are people. And God loves us the same.

I’ve had to learn to separate who Christ is with the label of “Christianity” and take Christ at his own merits. And in Christ, I have placed my trust.

My faith was rocked but not destroyed because my eyes have always looked to the Lord. The whole world could go against Him but my eyes will be on the Lord.

I don’t say that to sound haughty. My eyes are fixed on Him because he’s made that possible. It has nothing to do with me.

Nevertheless, what I have learned is that now more than ever, it’s important to grab hold of Christ. To seek Him and to love Him. Not the religion, but the person.

There is so much rhetoric, dogma, and religious talk that sounds holy. But the gospel is simple, faith in Christ. And that faith draws you to that which is good.

“It doesn’t matter what label they brand themselves with or what they look like. At the end of it all, people are people. We are people. And God loves us the same.”

There are some Christians who see Trump for who he is.

There are some that don’t.

This no longer shocks me.

I feel the Lord is calling us out. These are dark times. Now, more than ever, light must shine.

This light is not ours but the Lord’s. Therefore, if we are not connected to Him, we will always lack the ability to shine it.

Brothers and sisters, let us hold fast unto the Lord so that His light can shine. It needs to shine.

The world has seen the hypocrisy of the churches and has lumped anyone and everyone who dare claim the label “Christian” in the same boat.

The world does not respect Christianity anymore. But why would they when Christianity keeps standing for and doing that which is supposed to stand against:

Pastors of mega-churches are wealthy and greedy.

Pastors are constantly caught in sexual sins

Churches fail to stand up to racial injustice, economic abuse, and migratory hatred

Churches have become angry and political with no hint of love or caring.

And churches have elected a man that is nothing even remotely close to a person that is a moral example.

The world has taken note.

And when one of the few commandments Jesus actually gave us, which was to go out into the world and make disciples, is hindered by these failures, there’s a problem.

Jesus wants people to come to Him, but the church has made that difficult. People can’t see Jesus in church people anymore.

What Happened To The Beauty Of Salvation?

I remember a time when salvation was beautiful. Something pure and desirable.

But somewhere in the course of time, that changed.

The church has tarnished the beauty of salvation and replaced it with a dirty mirror of greed, hypocrisy, lack of faith, and legalism.

It’s sad because this was not always the case.

When I became a believer, I was 15 years old and had lots of issues.

But on a Wednesday night church service that I had begrudgingly agreed to attend, an evangelist spoke about Jesus.

He spoke about Jesus’ life. He spoke about Jesus’ humiliation at our hands. He spoke about Jesus’ gruesome death and about His resurrection.

I had never heard about Jesus quite like this and on that night I found Him to be the most beautiful person I have ever heard of.

You see, Jesus went through that painful humiliation and death to save me. To pay for something I should be paying for, but couldn’t.

As I willingly started to come to church and learn about God, I met other people. People of humble faith, genuine hearts, and full of love.

These people were beautiful.

And though there were disagreement about theology, music, movies, and everything else you can think of, they were still beautiful.

In hindsight I think what made them so beautiful is that they genuinely loved. They prayed for people, visited the sick, were sacrificial in many ways, prayed for sinners (not in condemnation but in genuine pleas for their well being).

But I don’t see that anymore.

What I see is a group of people who have assumed the label of “Christian” but that are tethered to the things of this world.

They place their desires above the spirit of the Lord. They seek their own will instead of the Lord’s. They lean on their own strength instead of the Lord’s.

Instead of loving and praying for people, they lift up “the law of the land” and treat foreigners as strangers when the Lord says to treat them as your own people.

They barrage sinners with the Bible and religious quotes when the Lord says it is He who brings people to repentance.

They allow widows, children, and the fatherless to be forsaken through political greed when the Lord said to stand up for these.

They are loud and contentious about little things like Starbucks cups, wedding cakes, photography, and movies, and yet are silent at the injustice of racism, political corruption, and other forms of discrimination.

They love their rules and appearance of holiness all the while forsaking the simple call of relationship with God.

And the list could go on.

But I’m left asking “what happened”?

I loved being part of the Christian community before. It felt like home.

Now, it feels so foreign it might as well be a cult.

I miss seeing people filled with supernatural love. That was beautiful.

I miss seeing people trusting the Lord. That was beautiful.

I miss Christians standing up to injustice. That was beautiful.

I miss beautiful.

 

When White Supremacists Are On The Move

I currently sit in a Firehouse Subs restaurant thinking.

A lot has happened.

Yesterday I saw a disturbing display of hatred. White people with torches marching through an institution of learning in clear opposition of people different than them.

It's ironic really.

Did they not learn the ignorance of hating people for their skin color? How did they not learn this?

I sit here feeling more vulnerable then I have ever felt.

I thought we were passed this!

People died yesterday because someone could not see past the color of someone else's skin. Someone died because of hatred so strong, it's like the stuff of movies.

But this is not a movie, it's real. My God it's real.

I've often wondered how my grandparents dealt with the obvious displays of racism. How did they deal with outright condemnation and devaluation of their being due to their skin color and nationality?

Looks like I'm about to find out.

Everyday these outright displays of bigotry become more common. Furthermore, the elected leadership of this country seem to not take a strong stance against it. Instead, they play their political games with politically correct rhetoric while people like me seek assurance.

An assurance that says "we are not going to let these bad people persecute you".

I was actually holding my breath to see this assurance become reality.

I've stopped holding my breath.

It's becoming obvious to me that help is not going to come from my leadership.
I guess that shouldn't surprise me.
But then, where IS help coming from?

Some will say "the Lord".

This is true.

But the Lord uses instruments, people. Where are his instruments?

I sit here seriously thinking about how to protect myself, how to protect others, how to stand against prejudice and injustice.

I shouldn't really be thinking this. Or should I?

Maybe I've been living in a bubble and I'm finally waking up?

Matrix style with a pill and everything.
It's a rude awakening.

I really wish those people knew what it feels like to feel like this. It's one thing if a person hates me because I'm an asshole.

I can deal with that.

But to hate me simply because I'm darker skinned?

Who can control their birth skin color?

Then again, as a gay man this should not be all that foreign to me.

It's just frustrating to look in the mirror and see someone that is hated by such a large group of people for reasons that cannot be controlled.

It's dumb.

So what am I going to do about it?

I am going to love but stand for justice. I am going to fight with compassion. I am going to pray and shout as loud as I can. I am going to heal as best as I can.

The bubble is broken.

My safety net is gone.

The bigots are bold now and my life is not worth much to them.

In an instant, one of them could run me over with a car.

In an instant.

I pray I'm being sensational.
I pray I'm wrong.
I pray this is just the media blowing things out of proportion.

But sadly I know it's not so. Sadly, I know that this ugly truth has been here all along. Except now it has a face, and we see it for what it really is.

That mask is slowly coming off, and as it does we incrementally see how disfigured and grotesque this face is.

Who can stand it?

God help us.

My Mom Passed Away…

I just wanted to take a moment and share some thoughts on my mom’s passing.