Romantic love

I warn you guys. This is a dark post:

Love. What a cruel beast. Usually attacks the first victim harder then the second. And when that victim wants to share this vehement disease, he is confronted with the inevitable inequality. Curse you love and all your devices. Rarely is the outcome to this disease a good one. I fought hard to keep you away, especially after the first time I contracted you. You fooled me back then, told me you were vitamins or something like that. I wish you were vitamins. But the only thing you enforce is my determination to never allow you in. You have a horrid way of knocking on my doors only to bring me to utter ruin.
And yet, as hard as I tried. For all my craftiness, fortifications, and traps. You somehow evaded them all and behold, here you are. Stating at me, mocking me for I know what you’re about to do. Dangling my desire like a holster dangles carrots in front of a rabbit. You lead me to places I did not want to go, only to open the window of truth. The truth that says that that which I so want, I can never, ever, have. Curse you love and all your demonic devices. I long for the day I can chain you and pierce you through the heart like you have done to me, so so many times.
Why is this fair! Why is this fair. But one day, your devices will be useless against me. One day I will look into your eyes and say, “your abode is in he’ll”. I hate you love. And yet I love you. I wish I could feel you. I wish I could share you. Yet here I am, once again. Staring at that window. Knowing that I can want all I want but my want will never ever become reality.


One thought on “Romantic love

  1. I just saw this now….my heart hurts for you…I will write, as I promised before…please be gentle with yourself.’

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