The gay man who gave up more than the straight man


Foto de Larry

Lately, an event has been popping in my head. This happened quite some time ago. I used to work at a Christian book store. This particular evening, I was working in the music department when a gentleman came in. Immediately I could tell the gentleman was extremely flamboyant and so could everyone else in the store. He wore bright colored clothes and had long reddish hair. Nevertheless, the gentleman (whom I shall call Larry) was polite, very cheerful and talked to all the workers. Talking to him was as if talking to someone whom you haven’t seen in a long time and recently got re-acquainted even though you’ve actually never met the guy.
As he proceeded to listen to music in my department, I noticed another gentleman (Whom I shall call Bob) walk up to him and start a conversation with him. At first I payed no attention, he was so outgoing that who wouldn’t want to talk to Larry. I went to the back to grab some items to restock the floor, when I came back I noticed that Larry and Bob where still talking, but cheer was gone from Larry’s face. Instead, a face of pain replaced the once so bright of a smile. Before I could step up to find out what was going on Larry said in a loud voice, “I gave up my boyfriend to follow Christ, what have you given up!” and with that, stormed out of the store. It took me a minute to realize what had just happened, but by then it was too late. Larry was out the store, God only knows what damage Bob had done. I felt like grabbing Bob’s neck and wringing it off! But that would not make matters any better. That has stayed with me for over ten years now. Its a stark reality of what we deal with. Bob was wrong! God is seeking people just like Larry to wrap His arms around them and instill in them the Love that they so seek. Its hard for someone who is straight to understand how much a human being can long to be loved by another human being of the same sex. Larry that day showed a true heart for God. Willing to give up that which I am sure he loved so much to follow someone who he could not see, but im sure felt. He accomplished what few people could scarcely understand.  For someone who is straight, giving up a wrong relationship (sex wise) is hard, but they still have hope of finding the right girl and eventually marrying.  For gay men, that’s not always the case.  As an ex gay (and someone who was partnered) I can attest to the fact that for us, giving up our relationship IS everything, since afterwards we have no hope for another “redeemed” relationship since most of us are not attracted to women and yet a sexual relationship with a man is biblically wrong. Can God give us the desire for women?  God can do anything.  But He doesnt always give us a desire for women Nevertheless, here is Bob, a straight man, probably struggling with similar issues but having a self righteous chip on his shoulder coming to someone like Larry and destroying his new found faith. The scriptures warns us about this, it says: “But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” Mathew 18:6.
As someone who knows about the struggle of homosexuality and the desires thereof let me warn you my brothers and sisters. Be true to the truth of the scriptures but lavish your actions with love for God says that even if you speak with the tongues of angels and have not love your actions are obnoxious (1 Corinthians 13:1). Oh Church, dont you know that you are the body of Christ? Through you, the Lord extends His love to those whom the world could care less about!
And for those of you who are reading this and struggle with this issue, make no mistake, the world does not care about you, and sad but true some churches dont either, but the truth is the the Lord God, He cares. And if you would just turn to Him. give Him your life without holding anything back. Trust Him, seek Him. The Lord will restore, He will fill that whole that no matter how many partners or tricks or flings you have, can never be filled (btw, before someone shoots me a nasty message.  Im not saying that all gay men are “whores”). Dont let the foolish words of some of God’s people and some who pretend to be God’s people deter you from who the Lord truly is. His love for you is so astounding! If only you would let Him give it to you. The gay world is quick to say that God hates you and pervert the truth with a lie. But the truth is God HATES your sin, because He ADORES you. And He knows the wicked, plans and desire that the world has for you, and its not for good. But this is what the Lord says to those whom are His” For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11, and else where he says” For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.” Psalm 84:11. We can walk blameless because of Christ, not because of our righteousness  I admonish you as someone who knows, turn from that world and rest in the Love of Christ. And for those who are of the Body but have the notion that God for whatever reasons hates gays? I admonish you to read and to study the scriptures more carefully. I also remind you that God’s strictest and more vehement scoldings where not for those who where “sinners” but for the “teachers of the laws” “for scribes” “for pharisees” . Repent and start loving those who are desperately seeking the Love of Christ but are bound to try and find this love in the skewed love of men.  And if you still cant bring yourself to loving someone whom God obviously Loves, than may I suggest you keep silent for their sake and also for ours.

With much love,

Juan Castillo Jr.

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14 thoughts on “The gay man who gave up more than the straight man

  1. I am speechless. You were on point with everything you said… People often ask me how could a Christen like myself associate myself with LGBT people then I simply tell them God told me to love my neighbor…. – my poor neighbor, my gay neighbor, my muslim neighbor, etc. Hate the SIN and not the SINNER!!

    Thanks for a really great post. And I commend you for your courage to give up love and follow GOD. “If God is all you have, then you have everything you need” 🙂

    • Thank you :). and thank you for loving those who are struggling with this. Its mind blowing at times to see people who dont understand the basics of loving those who are struggling. This extends not only to LGBT but to anything from race to even other religions. We (myself included) really need help in this department, lol. But I do see some progress in the church, exemplified by you and other whom I have talked to that share your same sentiments 🙂

  2. What an awful thing for someone to do to another. I often find it hard to read when you write about sexuality because there is so much pain in your words. What a tremendously difficult struggle you face, in ways I can’t even begin to imagine.

    • It was a pretty rough day that day. I remember being so disillusioned at Christians because let me tell you…working for a Christian book store, you see and experience Christians in a whooooooole different new way lol. But I now see that the children’s behavior is not indicative of who the Father is…Thank God. There is some pain when I talk about this struggle, but in the same breath, there’s TONS of joy, because I am in a point in my life where I genuinely have peace and joy. For the first time ever I look at myself and I like what I see. Not in a narcissistic way mind you, but just in a normal way lol. Ok maybe slightly narcissistic lol but the point is that I see myself as someone who has value and lots of it. It was hard for me to see that before. So, in some ways, this struggle is difficult. But, i don’t lie when I say, I really would not have it any other way…weird thinking about it, lol. Sorry for the blog like response, you just got me thinking lol 🙂

  3. That was really good Juan! You have really grown a lot since the last time I saw you. Keep doing what you’re doing, encouraging your brothers and sisters. As someone who struggles with this issue, your words have a lot of weight.

    • OMG Rebecca, How have you been! It has really been a long time hasn’t it? lol. Hows the family doing? (I see its grown :). Thanks for the comment. God has really blessed me and is continuing to lead me in ways that are just awesome! I’m really glad you stopped by tho. I sent you a FB request, lets keep in touch!

  4. Pingback: 120816–George Hach’s Inner Disciplines Journal–Thursday |

  5. I have never struggled Juan, I lost a cousin to Aids, he was a male prostitute from the age of 6 largely due being raped and then was paid to keep secrets. I guess you get my drift. I know how difficult it is as I yearly work with Exodus, the ministry that assists men and women with that issue.

    I also want you to know, that as a straight person. The same type of people in our churches say insensitive things to me about being single, being unmarried, being “strong”, knowledgeable of the word and being a woman, being willing to speak up for myself or others. It has not been easy AT ALL.

    Recently, a man moved here to date and be with me. I was not the whole package. He came and we wanted to work together. I stepped back to let him lead, so our relationship could take on the proper perspective to others and we would follow what God wants for marriage relationships with men and women.

    It was a free for all as people took on differing opinions and expressions of what our relationship was and meant. I stayed in prayer…no really it was a daily thing. We, myself and that gentleman could not make it in the dynamics and name of Jesus and others who would not leave our relationship and what it meant alone.

    My friend left what I had seen as a God appointed relationship.

    The church, how it expresses itself and what it truely is, can only be determined by the choices the leaders and congregation do. In other words, bad fruit, bad tree.

    God, knows our heart and as long as we walk in sync with Him, no matter what people do and say behind our backs or to our faces, He is our judge.

    Loved your work and article. Stay the course.

    • Im so sorry to hear of these event Lynda. The Church (or at least those who claim to be part of the Church) can be downright wicked. But I guess, no I know, I can be just as wicked. Im glad that you have remained strong in the Lord in spite of a bad representation from those who claim His name. The verse “dont grow weary in well doing for in due time you shall reap your reward” comes to mind and I think you have exemplified that. Most people would crumble after such an event. But God has given you grace it seems (which is awesome). I’ll lift you up in my prayers sister.
      btw, we should do another Fiddler on the Roof sometime :p. Just saying, that show was and still to this date is one of the highlights of my life…and im not exaggerating. I learned so much about myself and about God in that show is not even funny….I should write a blog about that lol. And not to mention that it was through that show that I was first exposed to Exodus (at that time Elutheras).
      At any rate, keep on staying strong. This life is short, and soon all this will be but a long and very distant memory….(Yei) lol.

      Juan

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