For Those Who Struggle with Homosexuality, and for the Ones Who Struggle With Them


First observation: Christians really don’t get it. I am sad to say that most believers when confronted with this issue just don’t get it. It is their belief that:

This is simply a choice

And as much as I would loooove to agree, I can’t. True, it may be my choice to act upon what I feel; however, I can’t help or have I

A young gay couple rub noses'.

ever been able to choose how I feel towards the same sex. It is by the grace of God that I daily overcome. And it is when I loose sight of Him that my fateful fall becomes eminent. I would assume that Its pretty much the same for all of us who claim the name of Christ and deal with these attractions. Hence why to us the verse “you are more than a conqueror” is so appropriate and powerful. We have to overcome every single day, hour,minute,second. But some believe this can easily be changed. Some believe that, to feel like I do is short of just committing the sin and thus live in a state of continual and rebellious sin. Therefore; according to some,  I live a life that is constantly displeasing God. But what they don’t understand is that nothing is further from the truth.

You must be attracted to the opposite sex.

This is how some Christians define freedom for someone who struggles with same sex attractions; to eventually be attracted to the opposite sex and marry and have children etc. I honestly don’t see that in scripture. Not to say that God cannot an has not done so to some individuals. God can do anything. But that’s not to say that God can’t show himself strong in us by leaving a thorn in our flesh either. In scripture it says that God’s grace is sufficient when we are not able. Freedom therefore is not a lack of desire but the power to overcome in spite of the desire being pressent. So many Christians who struggle face depression because they feel that God is somehow disappointed in them because they have these feelings. But the truth is that God can never be disappointed. To be disappointed you have to experience a let down that u were not expecting…well God knows everything. Therefore He cannot experience anything that He was not expecting. Therefore He cannot be disappointed. No, God is constantly looking to make himself strong on those who are weak if they but just let Him. I for one am not attracted to women (sorry ladies). Many a times I wish I was but the truth is I’m not. But I have learned to accept that and move on. I love my God and He loves me and delights in me.

Observation two: we need help.

Emotions show

The truth of this dire issue is that it can’t be faced alone. It’s too complex and too destructive. It plays with your emotions and your mind and there is nothing you can really do about it. We need God but we tend to forget that our father has given a charge to the church to lift each other up. It is foolish for Christians to say “you need to pray more” or “fast” or “seek counseling”. Truth of the matter is that most Christians councelros don’t get it either. What we need is faithful, God loving brothers and sisters to love us right back. Not just other people who struggle but everyone else as well. We don’t have a desease and we are not contagious. And even though I understand the validity of a support group, the fact that we as people who struggle with these attractions have to some how be alianated to some foreign support group when we have a church body with us is simply shameful for the church. In my opinion, the church has done too little to understand and to try to minister to people who struggle. There is too much hate in a body called to love, too much fear in a body called to be courageous, too much greed in a body called to be selfless, too much doubt in a body called to be faithful. And yet we excuse all these under the guise that this sin is somehow so grevious to God that it can’t be handled like any other sin. This by the way is found no where in scripture. NOWHERE! It sadness me that so much people must suffer in a community claiming the banner of Christ due to the follower’s ignorance. It is time the church was vocal about this issue from the pulpit and not in some condensending bigotry form but in a matter that seeks to heal and restore. Pastors need to learn about this issue and not be afraid of dealing with it. People who struggle cannot be afraid to admit that they do. That is where freedom is found. Does not scripture states to “confess your sins one to another”. I can guarantee you that there are people who struggle who will not say anything because they are afraid. Afraid of what? Mainly the church. How sad. This is so backwards! Church should be the place of refuge for us yet it is the opposite.

 Homosexuality is: really unlike any other sin.

To be clear, sin is sin. So in this respect homosexuality is just as sinful as gossiping, no more and no less. However due to the nature of homosexuality it carries with it natural consequences that other sins don’t have to deal with. Making homosexuality unlike any other sin in its ability to destroy an individual. And for those of you who equate homosexuality with the lust tendency of any man, stop. It’s not the same. For people who don’t struggle, lust can be controlled with the hopes that they will find the one they can spend their lives with. For a person who struggles, controlling these lusts offers no alternative. Granted God has given the desire for the opposite sex to some who struggle. However to the majority of us He hasn’t. Therefore we are stuck in a place where we can’t be attracted to the same sex for thats wrong but then we are not attracted to the opposite sex either. This brings with it all sorts of emotional and mental problems that normally people don’t deal with but we have to deal with on a daily basis. Therefore this is not like a heterosexual struggling with lust…stop treating it as such. Homosexuality carries with it a grand gamut of hidden scars a debilitating hurts. Too complex and too deep to adequately illustrate in this blog (it could be a whole series of blog…hmmmm). However, this means that a person cannot begin to deal with this without being informed.

Author: Bagande

Author: Bagande (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

LOVE IS THE ANSWER.

Wait, let me say that again…..LOVE IS THE ANSWER….oh by the way, LOVE IS THE ANSWER

God’s love. Ofcourse. But also the churches love. For it is through the church that God loves (at least one of the ways).  Ultimately, my plea to all who read this is this:

1. Don’t cast stones on those whom you don’t understand. Remember Christ and the woman caught in adultery.
2. Don’t be afraid to help
3. Let God do His work.
4. Speak truth. But in love. (read phillipians). There is nothing uglier in my opinion than a bible thumper. But one who speaks in love is rare and when found, beautiful. (FYI. I have been a bible thumper myself, and at times still am. So this applies to me too.)

Thank you for reading.

Juan Castillo Jr.

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5 thoughts on “For Those Who Struggle with Homosexuality, and for the Ones Who Struggle With Them

  1. Pingback: Sin is not the issue « An Outer Escape

  2. Pingback: I’m not called to be straight, I’m called to be His « Tales from a Nut Shell cracked open

  3. Thank you for this Juan. As a fellow follower of Christ, I struggle back and forth with what I think about the whole issue of homosexuality. All I know for sure, is that God made each and every one of us. He loves each and every one of us whom He has made. His Word is black and white on this issue of homosexuality, but it is also black and white on the issue of Loving one another, both inside the Church, and outside. I cannot begin to understand the deep struggle of the gay person. All I know is that God can help, and strengthen, release and set free the captive…to WHATEVER binds us. When I think of the issue of the rise of pornography use in the Church, my heart grieves. I know what porn use does to a family. Then there are those ‘lesser sins’ 😀 of gluttony, gossip, and the like. Yes, sin is sin, but there are varying consequences, various depths of the ill effects of our particular sins. I think God warns more strongly on certain sins, like homosexuality, or fornication, or adultery, simply because the issue of ‘sex, period’, involves the heart, and very SOUL of a person. How many of us have gotten a ‘blast-from-the-past’—running into someone we once ‘loved’ shall we say, and the shame that can arise from completely ‘knowing’ that person in a sexual way outside of the perfect will of God. We gave that person ALL of ourself…and then it ‘didn’t work out’. We feel cheap…and used…and ashamed. To me, it is THE worst feeling there is. God gives us HIS ideal…only for OUR good.
    I do not side with certain denominations today who uphold homosexual sin. Who ‘allow’ gays to continue in their sin “because they can’t help it.” Jesus told the adulterous women, “Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more.” It’s that “Go and sin no more” that people seem so bent on disobeying. No, it isn’t easy. It is never easy to turn from our pet sin, whatever it may be, but it is NOT impossible. With God, ALL things are possible! You are proof of that. Thank you for making me think today.

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