My Weakness Ever Before Me

A broad metal chain.



I don’t deny my weakness


I don’t intend to


Through it I have found your strength


Through it I see your heart


Nevertheless, how I wish I was strong


That my enemy would cower before me


That my will was stronger than my intent


That my love was pure and unadulterated


That my eyes were clear of deceit


How I wish that my steps were steadfast


My identity intertwined with you


Yet you are merciful towards me


Few can understand such grace


And even in this I am weak in pride


Lead me oh Holy One


Guide my steps towards strength


Create in this weak vessel a mighty warrior


One girded with the ambition to do Your will


The depths of hell tremble with fear at the sight of your work


That which you will do in me


Let me stand with my feet planted in your truth


Let it become mine


Let your glory be beautiful to me


Let me crave you in a way I have never craved anything else


Let my thoughts rejoice in continual meditation upon you


Let my dreams be adorned with your whispers of love


And when I wake,


May I not know the difference


For my thoughts would be on you


Let the depths of me that longs for you come forth


Valiant and free with a shout of a million armies


And let the darkness that sticks to me like a parasite


Die in gruesome bloody hell


Let my hatred burn with a fire hotter than the sun


And in this fire let the darkness perish


But foolish talk and hence my weakness shows


For what fire can compare to that which you have stored


Imagination cannot contain your wrath


Your enemies are delirious with fear


For they know their end


Therefore come great Champion


Rescue this blundering sheep from the wolves’ mouths


And let your glory be sung of throughout eternity


How I long to see that day oh Lord


When you shall speak and all will know you


But blessed are those who know you now


And blessed are those whom you know.


Juan Castillo Jr.



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