My Weakness Ever Before Me


A broad metal chain.

 

 

I don’t deny my weakness

 

I don’t intend to

 

Through it I have found your strength

 

Through it I see your heart

 

Nevertheless, how I wish I was strong

 

That my enemy would cower before me

 

That my will was stronger than my intent

 

That my love was pure and unadulterated

 

That my eyes were clear of deceit

 

How I wish that my steps were steadfast

 

My identity intertwined with you

 

Yet you are merciful towards me

 

Few can understand such grace

 

And even in this I am weak in pride

 

Lead me oh Holy One

 

Guide my steps towards strength

 

Create in this weak vessel a mighty warrior

 

One girded with the ambition to do Your will

 

The depths of hell tremble with fear at the sight of your work

 

That which you will do in me

 

Let me stand with my feet planted in your truth

 

Let it become mine

 

Let your glory be beautiful to me

 

Let me crave you in a way I have never craved anything else

 

Let my thoughts rejoice in continual meditation upon you

 

Let my dreams be adorned with your whispers of love

 

And when I wake,

 

May I not know the difference

 

For my thoughts would be on you

 

Let the depths of me that longs for you come forth

 

Valiant and free with a shout of a million armies

 

And let the darkness that sticks to me like a parasite

 

Die in gruesome bloody hell

 

Let my hatred burn with a fire hotter than the sun

 

And in this fire let the darkness perish

 

But foolish talk and hence my weakness shows

 

For what fire can compare to that which you have stored

 

Imagination cannot contain your wrath

 

Your enemies are delirious with fear

 

For they know their end

 

Therefore come great Champion

 

Rescue this blundering sheep from the wolves’ mouths

 

And let your glory be sung of throughout eternity

 

How I long to see that day oh Lord

 

When you shall speak and all will know you

 

But blessed are those who know you now

 

And blessed are those whom you know.

 

Juan Castillo Jr.

 

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